Strapons for Beginners: Complete Guide to Strap-On Sex

Exploring strapons for beginners opens up new dimensions of pleasure, role reversal, and intimacy for couples of all orientations. Whether you're curious about strap-on sex, wondering how to use a strap on effectively, or searching for a beginner strap on that's comfortable and confidence-building, understanding the basics makes your first experience positive and pleasurable.

This strap on guide covers everything from how strap ons work and choosing the right size to step-by-step instructions on how to put on a strap on, best strap on positions for beginners, and care essentials. You'll find practical, judgment-free advice for navigating this exciting form of sexual expression.

Who This Guide Is For

This article is designed for:

• First-time users exploring strap-on sex and pegging for the first time
• Couples of any orientation wanting to add variety and role exploration to intimacy
• Anyone curious about how does a strap on work and what to expect
• Partners seeking confidence-building tips for giving or receiving
• People wanting practical guidance on sizing, positioning, and technique

Whether you're in a lesbian, straight, queer, or any other relationship dynamic, these fundamentals apply universally.

What Is a Strap-On and How Does It Work?

Basic Components

A strap-on is a harness system that holds a dildo in place, allowing the wearer to penetrate their partner hands-free.

The harness:

• Made from fabric, leather, or silicone
• Secures around the waist and/or thighs
• Contains an O-ring or attachment point for the dildo
• Adjustable straps for custom fit

The dildo:

• Typically made from silicone, realistic materials, or glass
• Comes in various sizes, shapes, and textures
• Attaches to the harness via O-ring or built-in connection
• Can be realistic or abstract in design

How Do Strap Ons Work?

Mechanics:

1. Wearer puts on the harness and adjusts for snug fit
2. Dildo is secured in the O-ring or attachment point
3. Wearer positions themselves for penetration
4. Thrusting is controlled by hip and core movements

What the wearer experiences:

• Pressure and friction against the pubic mound or clitoris (depending on harness style)
• Psychological arousal from role and control
• Physical workout (core, hips, thighs)
• Some harnesses include vibrating inserts for direct stimulation

What the receiver experiences:

• Penetration similar to penis or other penetrative toy
• Hands-free pleasure allowing partner to focus on other stimulation
• Role play and power dynamics

According to information on sexual wellness and toys, strap-ons are popular across all sexual orientations and gender identities for their versatility and inclusivity.

Choosing the Best Strap On for Beginners

Not all strap-ons are created equal. Starting with the right setup makes a huge difference.

Dildo Size for Beginners

Length:

• 5-6 inches: Ideal for first-time users, manageable and not intimidating
• 7-8 inches: Medium size, good once you're comfortable with basics
• Avoid 9+ inches until you've built experience and confidence

Girth (diameter):

• 1-1.25 inches: Slim, comfortable for most beginners
• 1.5 inches: Medium, good for those with some penetration experience
• Avoid 2+ inches until you know you prefer fuller sensations

Shape:

• Realistic dildos: Include head, shaft detail; some find this easier to position
• Abstract/smooth dildos: No realistic features; can be less intimidating
• Curved dildos: Target G-spot or prostate

Harness Styles Comparison

For most beginners: Start with a two-strap or brief-style harness. They offer the best balance of stability, comfort, and ease of use.

Material Considerations

Harness materials:

• Nylon webbing: Affordable, durable, easy to clean
• Leather: Stylish, durable, molds to body over time (requires special care)
• Silicone: Body-safe, waterproof, easy to sanitize

Dildo materials:

• Silicone: Non-porous, body-safe, easy to clean (best choice)
• TPE/TPR: Softer, more affordable, but porous (harder to sanitize)
• Glass or metal: Firm, smooth, temperature-play friendly

Always choose body-safe, non-porous materials when possible.

Step-by-Step: How to Use a Strap On

Follow this process for a comfortable, pleasurable first experience.

Step 1: Preparation and Communication

Before you begin:

• Discuss desires and boundaries: "What are you excited about? Any concerns?"
• Choose a time without pressure: Don't rush your first attempt
• Set the mood: Privacy, comfort, relaxation
• Have supplies ready: Lube, towels, cleanup materials

Step 2: How to Put On a Strap On

Harness adjustment:

1. Loosen all straps completely before putting on
2. Step into the harness like underwear (for most styles)
3. Position the O-ring centered over your pubic mound
4. Tighten waist strap first until snug but not cutting in
5. Tighten leg straps next, ensuring harness sits flat and doesn't twist
6. Check stability: Harness should not slide or rotate when you move your hips

Attaching the dildo:

1. Insert dildo base through the O-ring from front to back
2. Ensure it's secure: Should not wobble or slip
3. Some O-rings have snaps or closures for extra security—use them

Fitting tips:

• Harness should sit at hip bone level, not waist
• You should be able to fit one finger under each strap comfortably
• Practice walking, squatting, and hip movements to ensure stability

Step 3: Lubrication (Essential)

How much to use:

• Generous application to the entire dildo
• Also apply to receiving partner's vaginal or anal opening
• Reapply frequently during use

Best lube types:

• Water-based: Safe for all materials, easy cleanup
• Silicone-based: Longer-lasting, great for extended sessions (don't use with silicone toys)

Step 4: Starting Penetration

Positioning:

• Missionary: Face-to-face, intimate, good for beginners
• Doggy style: Easier angles for the wearer, deeper penetration
• Spooning: Gentle, comfortable, allows close contact

Initial entry:

1. Guide the dildo with your hand (you can't feel where it's going)
2. Insert slowly, just the tip at first
3. Check in: "How does this feel?"
4. Gradually increase depth as receiving partner relaxes and guides you

Step 5: Thrusting Technique

How to move:

• Use your hips and core, not just arms or upper body
• Start with slow, shallow thrusts to find rhythm
• Gradually increase depth and speed based on feedback
• Maintain steady rhythm rather than erratic movements

Communication during:

• "Is this depth okay?"
• "Faster or slower?"
• "Should I change angles?"

Finding the right angle:

• Adjust your body position (higher, lower, to the side)
• Use pillows under receiving partner's hips for better access
• For G-spot: Aim upward toward belly button
• For prostate: Similar upward angle

Step 6: Aftercare and Cleanup

Immediately after:

• Remove slowly and gently
• Check in emotionally: "How are you feeling?"
• Provide physical comfort: Cuddling, warmth, reassurance

Cleanup:

• Remove harness and dildo
• Wash dildo with soap and warm water immediately
• Clean harness according to material (fabric: machine wash, leather: wipe down)

Best Strap On Positions for Beginners

Different positions offer different benefits for first-time users.

Missionary (Face-to-Face)

Why it works for beginners:

• Intimate, allows eye contact and kissing
• Receiving partner can guide depth and angle easily
• Wearer has good leverage and control

How to:

1. Receiving partner lies on back, knees bent or legs over wearer's shoulders
2. Wearer kneels or lies between partner's legs
3. Use pillows under receiving partner's hips for better angle

Doggy Style

Why it works for beginners:

• Easier sightlines for wearer to see what they're doing
• Natural hip angle for thrusting
• Allows deeper penetration if desired

How to:

1. Receiving partner on hands and knees (or forearms for comfort)
2. Wearer kneels behind
3. Guide dildo with hand initially until positioned

Spooning (Side-by-Side)

Why it works for beginners:

• Gentle, intimate, low-pressure
• Allows slower, more controlled movement
• Good for first attempts or if penetration is uncomfortable at first

How to:

1. Both partners lie on sides, wearer behind receiver
2. Receiver lifts top leg slightly for access
3. Wearer enters from behind at a comfortable angle

Cowgirl (Receiver on Top)

Why it works for beginners:

• Receiving partner controls depth, speed, and angle completely
• Wearer can relax and focus on hip movements
• Great for building receiver's confidence

How to:

1. Wearer lies on back
2. Receiver straddles and lowers onto dildo
3. Receiver controls all movement initially

Explore versatile options to enhance strap-on play at sex toys for couples.

Common Challenges and Solutions

Problem: Harness Keeps Slipping

Solutions:

• Tighten all straps more (should be snug, not loose)
• Check that O-ring is correctly positioned
• Consider a different harness style (three-strap offers more stability)
• Ensure you're using appropriate hip/thrusting motion rather than pulling

Problem: Can't Feel Where the Dildo Is Going

Solutions:

• Use your hand to guide during initial entry
• Have receiving partner guide verbally ("Higher," "To the left")
• Start in positions with visual access (doggy style, missionary with good lighting)
• Practice makes perfect—spatial awareness improves with experience

Problem: Thrusting Is Exhausting

Solutions:

• Use more hip rotation and less full-body movement
• Try positions requiring less effort (spooning, receiver on top)
• Take breaks: Switch to manual or oral stimulation, then return
• Build core and hip strength over time through practice

Problem: Dildo Is Too Big or Uncomfortable

Solutions:

• Use more lube than you think you need
• Warm up with smaller toys or fingers first
• Choose a slimmer dildo (5-6 inches long, 1-1.25 inches diameter)
• Stop if pain occurs—discomfort is normal, pain is not

Enhancing Strap-On Sex with Extras

For the Wearer

Vibrating inserts:

• Small vibrators that sit against wearer's clitoris inside the harness
• Creates direct stimulation during thrusting
• Enhances pleasure for wearer significantly

Double-ended dildos:

• One end inserts into wearer, other end penetrates partner
• Stimulates both partners simultaneously
• Requires practice and strong pelvic floor muscles

For the Receiver

Clitoral stimulation:

• Use a bullet vibrator or hands on clitoris during penetration
• Dramatically increases pleasure and orgasm likelihood
• Clitoral suction toys work well for hands-free dual stimulation

Anal play (if desired):

• Butt plugs or anal beads during vaginal strap-on sex
• Adds fullness and sensation variety
• Always use plenty of lube and go slowly

Cleaning and Caring for Your Strap-On

Proper maintenance ensures safety and longevity.

Cleaning the Dildo

After every use:

1. Rinse with warm water immediately
2. Wash with mild soap or toy cleaner
3. For silicone dildos: Can be boiled for 3-5 minutes for deep sanitization
4. Dry completely before storing

Cleaning the Harness

Fabric/nylon harnesses:

• Machine wash in cold water, gentle cycle
• Hang dry (don't use dryer—heat can damage elastic)

Leather harnesses:

• Wipe down with damp cloth
• Use leather conditioner periodically to prevent cracking
• Spot clean as needed

Silicone harnesses:

• Wash with soap and warm water
• Can be boiled or run through dishwasher (top rack)

Storage

• Store dildo and harness separately in clean, dry place
• Use breathable bags (not airtight plastic)
• Keep away from direct sunlight
• Check regularly for signs of wear (cracks, tears, odors)

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the best strap on for beginners?

A two-strap nylon harness with a 5-6 inch silicone dildo (1-1.25 inches diameter) is ideal for beginners. This combination offers stability, comfort, body-safe materials, and a manageable size that's not intimidating. Choose a harness with adjustable straps and a silicone dildo for easy cleaning.

How do you put on a strap-on harness?

Loosen all straps completely, step into the harness like underwear, position the O-ring centered over your pubic mound, tighten the waist strap first until snug, then tighten leg straps. Insert the dildo through the O-ring and secure it. The harness should sit at hip level and not slide when you move.

What does strap-on sex feel like for the wearer?

Wearers experience pressure and friction against the pubic mound or clitoris (depending on harness style), psychological arousal from role play and control, and a physical workout using core and hip muscles. Some harnesses include inserts or double-ended dildos that provide direct stimulation, while others rely primarily on external pressure.

What are the best strap-on positions for first-timers?

Missionary and receiver-on-top (cowgirl) are best for beginners. Missionary allows intimacy and easy communication, while receiver-on-top gives the receiving partner complete control over depth, speed, and angle. Both positions make it easier for first-time wearers to manage the learning curve.

Can you use a strap-on for anal sex?

Yes, but use extra caution. Choose a smaller dildo (4-5 inches, slim diameter) to start, use generous amounts of anal-safe lubricant, warm up with fingers or smaller toys first, and go very slowly. Communication is critical—the receiver should control pace and depth initially. Never use the same toy for vaginal and anal without thorough cleaning.

How do you make strap-on sex more pleasurable for both partners?

For wearers: Use vibrating inserts, double-ended dildos, or harnesses that create friction against the clitoris. For receivers: Add clitoral stimulation with hands or vibrators, try different positions to find optimal angles, and communicate clearly about what feels good. Both partners benefit from plenty of lube, patience, and open communication.

Conclusion

Exploring strapons for beginners opens exciting possibilities for pleasure, intimacy, and role exploration across all relationship types. By choosing the right beginner strap on, learning proper technique for how to use a strap on, and maintaining open communication with your partner, you can create confident, enjoyable experiences.

Start slowly, prioritize comfort and safety, and remember that practice builds skill and connection.Ready to explore your options? Discover versatile choices at Jissbon designed for every experience level and preference.