Every relationship experiences moments when intimacy could use a refresh. Whether you've been together for months or decades, introducing sex toys to spice up the bedroom can reignite passion, deepen connection, and unlock pleasures you didn't know existed.
The right additions transform routine encounters into exciting explorations. From discreet vibrators that add new sensations to app-controlled devices that build anticipation throughout the day, modern pleasure products offer something for every couple's comfort level and curiosity.
This guide walks you through choosing, using, and enjoying toys designed to elevate shared experiences. You'll discover options for beginners and adventurous pairs alike, plus practical tips for making these conversations and experiments comfortable and fun.
Why Couples Turn to Toys for Enhanced Intimacy
Introducing toys to spice up sex life isn't about fixing problems—it's about expansion. Couples report multiple benefits from incorporating pleasure products into their intimate lives.
Common reasons partners explore toys together:
- New sensations – Experience stimulation patterns impossible with hands alone
- Simultaneous pleasure – Many designs stimulate both partners at once
- Reduced performance pressure – Toys provide consistent stimulation regardless of fatigue
- Exploration and discovery – Find new erogenous zones and preferences together
- Communication catalyst – Choosing toys opens important conversations about desires
- Accessibility support – Helpful for physical limitations or mobility concerns
Research shows that couples who communicate openly about sexual preferences report higher satisfaction levels. Studies on sexual communication confirm that discussing desires—including toy preferences—strengthens both emotional and physical intimacy.
Far from replacing connection, sex toys to spice things up actually encourage partners to be more present, creative, and attentive to each other's responses. The shared experience of trying something new creates memorable bonding moments.
Best Sex Toys for Beginners: Starting Your Exploration

If you're new to incorporating products into partnered play, these approachable options provide exciting results without overwhelming complexity.
Couples' Vibrating Rings
Vibrating rings sit at the base during penetration, stimulating both partners simultaneously. They're affordable, disposable or rechargeable, and create sensations neither partner can achieve alone.
Why they work for beginners:
- Simple to use with minimal learning curve
- Provides clitoral stimulation during penetration
- Enhances sensation for the penetrating partner
- Non-intimidating size and appearance
- Easy cleanup and storage
For couples seeking dual stimulation with rechargeable power, a dual vibrating cock ring offers multiple vibration patterns and extended playtime without battery concerns.
Remote-Controlled Bullet Vibrators
These compact powerhouses offer versatility that extends beyond the bedroom. One partner controls the vibrations while the other experiences them, creating playful power dynamics.
Benefits for couples:
- Discreet enough for public anticipation play
- Allows one partner to control the other's pleasure
- Small size feels less intimidating than larger toys
- Multiple uses—foreplay, during intercourse, solo sessions
- Easy to incorporate into various positions
The remote aspect lets you tease your partner during dinner, at events, or throughout the day, building excitement long before you reach the bedroom.
Massage Wands for Whole-Body Sensation
Originally marketed for muscle tension, wand vibrators have become intimacy staples. Their powerful, rumbly vibrations work for foreplay, direct stimulation, and exploring erogenous zones across the entire body.
Why couples love wands:
- Strong vibrations reach through tissue for deep sensation
- Large head covers more surface area
- Perfect for extended foreplay and massage
- Works on all bodies regardless of anatomy
- Often cordless and rechargeable for convenience
Using a wand together encourages full-body exploration rather than focusing solely on genitals, expanding your definition of pleasure and intimacy.
Intermediate Options: Toys to Deepen Your Adventures
Once you're comfortable with basics, these toys to spice up sex offer more specialized sensations and creative possibilities.
Rabbit Vibrators for Dual Stimulation
Rabbits simultaneously stimulate internal and external erogenous zones, providing sensations that many people find intensely pleasurable. Partners can use them during foreplay or incorporate them into intercourse.
Key features that benefit couples:
- Dual motors target multiple pleasure zones
- Various shaft shapes accommodate different preferences
- Adjustable angles suit different positions
- Can be used solo or together
- Encourages exploration of what feels best
Watching your partner experience intense pleasure can be incredibly arousing. Rabbits facilitate that visual and emotional connection while ensuring consistent stimulation.
Prostate Massagers for Expanded Pleasure
Prostate stimulation opens entirely new pleasure dimensions for male-bodied partners. These specialized toys target the prostate gland, often called the male G-spot.
Benefits for adventurous couples:
- Introduces entirely new sensation territory
- Demonstrates openness and trust between partners
- Can intensify orgasms significantly
- Breaks traditional gender role assumptions
- Opens conversations about pleasure beyond expectations
Many couples find that incorporating anal play with proper toys strengthens their emotional bond through vulnerability and mutual care.
App-Controlled Toys for Long-Distance Connection
Technology-enabled toys let partners control each other's pleasure from across the room or across continents. Apps provide pattern customization, sync to music, and even allow control transfer.
Why they enhance modern relationships:
- Maintain intimacy during travel or distance
- Add surprise elements to daily routines
- Allow creative control dynamics
- Sync multiple toys for coordinated sensations
- Create custom patterns tailored to your partner
The anticipation of not knowing when stimulation will start creates exciting tension throughout the day.
Advanced Toys for Experienced Explorers
Couples comfortable with their pleasure journey might explore these more specialized sex toys to spice it up to new levels.
|
Toy Type |
Primary Benefit |
Best For |
|
Automatic strokers |
Consistent, customizable stimulation |
Male partners during mutual play |
|
Thrusting vibrators |
Simulates motion during solo or partnered use |
Varied penetration sensations |
|
Suction toys |
Intense clitoral stimulation via air pulse |
Partners who enjoy oral-like sensation |
|
Couples' vibrators |
Worn during penetration |
Simultaneous internal/external pleasure |
|
Remote prostate massagers |
Hands-free prostate stimulation |
Adventurous partners exploring new territory |
These options require more communication and experimentation but can deliver extraordinary experiences once you understand each other's responses and preferences.
How to Choose the Right Toys for Your Relationship

Selecting sex toys to spice up the bedroom should be a collaborative process that considers both partners' comfort levels, curiosities, and boundaries.
1. Start With Honest Conversation
Discuss fantasies, curiosities, and limits before shopping. Questions to explore together:
- What new sensations are you curious about?
- Are there specific activities you'd like to try?
- What feels too intimidating right now?
- How adventurous are you feeling?
- What materials or features matter most?
These conversations often reveal desires neither partner knew the other had, opening exciting new possibilities.
2. Consider Material Safety
Body-safe materials matter significantly for health and comfort. Prioritize these options:
Recommended materials:
- Medical-grade silicone (non-porous, hypoallergenic)
- ABS plastic (hard, smooth, easy to clean)
- Borosilicate glass (temperature play, completely non-porous)
- Stainless steel (firm, temperature-responsive, beautiful)
Avoid porous materials like jelly rubber or PVC, which can harbor bacteria and contain potentially harmful chemicals.
3. Match Toys to Your Activities
Think about how you'll actually use items:
- For foreplay enhancement – Massage wands, feather ticklers, temperature toys
- During penetrative sex – Vibrating rings, couples' vibrators, prostate massagers
- For taking turns pleasuring each other – Strokers, rabbits, bullet vibes
- For simultaneous solo play together – Any personal favorites you each enjoy
Many couples maintain a collection with options for different moods and energy levels.
4. Start Small and Build Gradually
Beginners often feel overwhelmed by larger toys. Start with:
- Slim, beginner-sized products
- Single-function items before complex multi-feature toys
- Familiar sensations (like vibration) before trying entirely new types
- One new addition at a time rather than several simultaneously
Success with approachable options builds confidence for more adventurous choices later.
5. Read Reviews and Research
Other couples' experiences provide valuable insights. Look for feedback about:
- Noise levels (crucial for discretion)
- Actual size compared to descriptions
- Battery life and charging convenience
- Ease of cleaning and maintenance
- Whether features deliver as promised
Quality matters significantly in pleasure products. Well-designed toys from reputable sources like Jissbon offer better experiences and longer lifespans than cheap alternatives.
Step-by-Step: Introducing Toys Into Your Routine
Successfully incorporating toys to spice up sex life requires thoughtful introduction. Follow these steps for comfortable integration.
1. Shop Together (Or Share Options)
Browse online collections together, discussing what appeals to each of you. This shared activity builds anticipation and ensures both partners feel included in decisions.
If shopping in person feels too vulnerable initially, browse separately and share favorites. Many couples find online shopping more comfortable for first purchases.
2. Prepare for First Use
Before your intimate session:
- Fully charge rechargeable toys
- Wash items with toy cleaner or mild soap
- Have water-based lubricant ready
- Test functions beforehand to avoid fumbling during the moment
- Agree on a check-in system (verbal cues about what feels good)
Preparation removes pressure and lets you focus entirely on sensation and connection.
3. Start During Foreplay, Not as the Main Event
Introduce toys gradually rather than making them the centerpiece immediately. Use them during extended foreplay to discover what feels good without performance pressure.
Try:
- Teasing erogenous zones with vibration before direct genital contact
- Taking turns using toys on each other
- Incorporating massage and temperature play
- Keeping communication flowing about sensations
This exploratory approach feels playful rather than goal-oriented.
4. Experiment With Positions and Techniques
Different positions allow different toy placements. Explore various angles, pressures, and combinations:
- Missionary with a vibrating ring or bullet between bodies
- Doggy style with one partner controlling a remote vibrator
- Spooning with a wand providing external stimulation
- Face-to-face sitting with a couples' vibrator in place
What works perfectly for one couple might not suit another—experimentation reveals your unique preferences.
5. Check In and Adjust
During and after, discuss what worked well and what didn't. Questions to ask:
- Did any sensations feel uncomfortable?
- What would you want more or less of next time?
- Are there other positions or toys you'd like to try?
- How did incorporating toys affect our overall connection?
This feedback loop ensures toys enhance rather than complicate your intimacy.
Essential Toy Care and Maintenance
Proper care keeps sex toys to spice up sex safe, hygienic, and functional for years.
Cleaning Guidelines by Material
Silicone, glass, and steel:
- Wash with warm water and antibacterial soap immediately after use
- For deep cleaning, boil non-motorized items for 3-5 minutes
- Motorized silicone toys can be cleaned with toy-specific sprays
- Dry completely before storage
ABS plastic and motorized items:
- Wipe with toy cleaner or damp cloth with mild soap
- Avoid submerging unless specified as waterproof
- Clean around buttons and seams carefully
- Air dry thoroughly
Storage Best Practices
- Keep toys in individual cloth bags or cases
- Store in cool, dry locations away from direct sunlight
- Separate silicone toys from each other (they can react and degrade)
- Remove batteries from battery-operated items if storing long-term
- Keep rechargeable toys topped up every few months
Lubricant Compatibility
Match lubricants to toy materials:
|
Toy Material |
Compatible Lubricants |
Avoid |
|
Silicone |
Water-based, hybrid |
Silicone-based (degrades material) |
|
Glass/Steel |
All types |
None |
|
ABS plastic |
All types |
None |
|
TPE/TPR |
Water-based only |
Silicone and oil-based |
Using proper lubricant prevents material breakdown and ensures comfortable, friction-free experiences. Learn more about choosing safe lubricants from trusted health sources.
Overcoming Common Concerns About Introducing Toys

Many couples hesitate before trying toys to spice up sex due to misconceptions or worries. Here's how to address frequent concerns.
"Will toys replace me or make me inadequate?"
Toys don't replace human connection—they're tools that enhance what you already share. Think of them like cooking together: kitchen gadgets don't replace the chef, they expand what you can create together.
Most couples find toys strengthen their bond by opening communication, reducing performance pressure, and ensuring both partners experience consistent pleasure.
"What if my partner thinks I'm not satisfied?"
Wanting to try new things doesn't mean current experiences are lacking. Frame the conversation positively: "I love what we have and I'm excited to explore even more together."
Curiosity about pleasure is natural and healthy. Exploring together demonstrates investment in your shared intimate life.
"I'm embarrassed to suggest it"
Start with gentle conversation starters:
- "I read an article about couples trying new things together—what do you think?"
- "Have you ever been curious about [specific type of toy]?"
- "I'd love to explore some new sensations together. Would you be open to that?"
Many partners feel relieved when someone initiates these conversations since they've been curious too.
"What if we try it and don't like it?"
Not every experiment succeeds perfectly, and that's completely normal. Approach new additions with curiosity rather than expectations. If something doesn't work, you've learned more about your preferences—that's valuable information.
Keep perspective: one toy that doesn't fit your style doesn't mean all toys won't. Different products serve different needs and bodies.
Creating the Right Atmosphere for Toy Introduction
Setting matters when introducing sex toys to spice things up. Create an environment that feels relaxed, playful, and pressure-free.
Environmental Setup
- Timing – Choose occasions when you're both relaxed, not rushed or exhausted
- Privacy – Ensure uninterrupted time without worry about being overheard
- Lighting – Dim or colored lights create a more sensual atmosphere
- Temperature – Comfortable room temperature (cold kills mood quickly)
- Cleanliness – Fresh sheets and tidy space reduce distractions
Emotional Preparation
- Approach with playfulness rather than high stakes
- Agree that you can pause or stop anytime
- Remove goal orientation (orgasm doesn't have to be the objective)
- Focus on exploration and sensation rather than performance
- Maintain humor when things don't go perfectly
Communication During Play
- Use affirmative language ("that feels amazing" vs. just "more")
- Ask open questions ("how does this feel?" vs. yes/no questions)
- Give specific feedback ("a little to the left" vs. vague responses)
- Check in about comfort and pleasure regularly
- Celebrate what works without criticizing what doesn't
This supportive environment makes experimentation feel safe and enjoyable rather than nerve-wracking.
Toys for Specific Relationship Dynamics
Different couples have different needs. Match toys to spice up sex life to your unique dynamic.
For Long-Distance Couples
Remote and app-controlled toys maintain intimacy across distance. Partners can tease, control, and pleasure each other via smartphone regardless of location.
Best options:
- App-enabled vibrators with video chat compatibility
- Paired toys that sync sensations between partners
- Remote-controlled prostate massagers
- Wearable vibrators controlled via phone
Distance doesn't mean disconnection when technology bridges the gap.
For Busy Parents Seeking Quick Connection
Parents need toys that work quickly, quietly, and store discreetly. Compact, powerful options fit limited time and privacy constraints.
Ideal choices:
- Quiet bullet vibrators with multiple intensities
- Compact couples' rings for enhanced quickies
- Wearable vibrators for solo play during partner's turn
- Travel-sized wands in lockable cases
Prioritize rechargeable options to avoid noisy battery package rustling and quick charging for spontaneous moments.
For Couples Exploring BDSM Elements
Power exchange dynamics benefit from toys that emphasize control, anticipation, and sensation play.
Popular options:
- Remote-controlled toys (one partner controls the other's pleasure)
- Restraint-friendly designs that work while movement is limited
- Sensory toys (temperature, texture, vibration patterns)
- Toys with multiple intensity levels for edging and denial play
Always establish clear boundaries, safe words, and aftercare practices when exploring power dynamics.
Building Your Couples' Collection Over Time
Most satisfied couples don't buy everything at once. They build a collection gradually based on evolving interests and discoveries.
Starter Collection (3-5 Items)
Begin with versatile basics:
- One vibrating ring or couples' vibrator
- One bullet or compact vibrator
- One massage wand
- Quality water-based lubricant
- Toy cleaner
This foundation covers most common desires while remaining approachable and affordable.
Intermediate Additions (As Interest Grows)
Add specialized items:
- A rabbit vibrator for intense solo or foreplay use
- A stroker or masturbator for male partners
- A prostate massager if exploring anal play
- An app-controlled toy for distance or public play
Advanced Collection (For Experienced Explorers)
Seasoned couples might include:
- Thrusting or rotating toys for varied motion
- High-end rechargeable wands with attachments
- Multiple sizes and shapes for different moods
- Specialty items for specific fantasies or kinks
Browse collections of sex toys for couples to discover options that match your current interests and future curiosities.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I bring up wanting to try sex toys with my partner without making them feel inadequate?
Frame the conversation around curiosity and expansion rather than dissatisfaction. Say something like, "I love our intimate life and I'm excited about exploring new sensations together." Emphasize that toys are additions to enhance what you already enjoy, not replacements for what either partner provides. Share articles or product pages casually to open dialogue without pressure, letting your partner process the idea at their own pace before expecting decisions.
What's the best first toy for couples who've never used anything before?
Vibrating rings offer the most approachable introduction for most couples. They're affordable, non-intimidating in size, easy to use, and provide simultaneous pleasure for both partners during penetration. Alternatively, a small bullet vibrator works well because it's versatile—usable during foreplay, intercourse, or solo sessions—and doesn't fundamentally change what you're already doing together. Start simple and build confidence before trying more complex options.
How often should couples use toys during sex—every time or occasionally?
There's no "should" when it comes to frequency. Some couples incorporate toys into every encounter because they genuinely enhance experience. Others use them occasionally for variety or when they want specific sensations. Many rotate between toy-enhanced sessions and traditional intimacy. Let your natural desires guide you rather than feeling obligated to use or avoid toys based on arbitrary rules. Variety often works best for maintaining excitement long-term.
Are sex toys safe to use during pregnancy?
Generally yes, though specific recommendations depend on individual circumstances. Healthcare providers typically approve external vibrators and non-penetrative toys throughout pregnancy. Penetrative toys are usually fine in uncomplicated pregnancies, but consult your doctor about your specific situation, especially if you have any risk factors. Avoid overly intense stimulation in later pregnancy and always prioritize comfort. Proper hygiene becomes even more important during pregnancy to prevent infections.
What should I do if a toy doesn't work as expected or feels uncomfortable?
Stop using it immediately and try adjusting technique—sometimes different angles, pressure levels, or lubricant amounts make dramatic differences. If discomfort persists, the toy might not suit your anatomy, which is completely normal. Bodies vary significantly and not every product works for everyone. Try alternatives with different shapes or sizes. Quality retailers often offer satisfaction guarantees, so check return policies. Don't force yourself to use something that genuinely doesn't feel good just because it's popular.
How do we keep toys hygienic when sharing between partners?
Clean thoroughly between uses with appropriate cleaners for the material. For penetrative toys, consider using condoms (especially when alternating between anal and vaginal use) and changing them between partners. Store cleaned toys in individual cases to prevent cross-contamination. If one partner has an active infection, avoid sharing until cleared. High-quality silicone, glass, and metal toys are easiest to sterilize completely. Replace porous materials regularly since they can't be fully sanitized despite cleaning efforts.
Conclusion
Introducing sex toys to spice up the bedroom transforms intimate experiences from routine to extraordinary. Whether you start with a simple vibrating ring or gradually explore specialized options, these additions enhance connection, communication, and pleasure for both partners.
The key to success lies in approaching toys as collaborative tools rather than replacements, maintaining open dialogue about desires and boundaries, and choosing quality products suited to your unique relationship. Ready to discover what works for your partnership? Explore curated collections designed for every experience level at Jissbon.




























