Sex Toys for Humping: Your Complete Guide to Grinding & Outercourse Toys

Humping—also called grinding or dry humping—provides pleasure through rhythmic friction against surfaces or objects. Specialized toys enhance this experience with ergonomic shapes, textured surfaces, and stimulating features that hands can't replicate.

Whether you're exploring solo pleasure, non-penetrative partner play, or accessible options for limited mobility, humping toys offer versatile satisfaction. This guide covers product types, selection criteria, and techniques for maximum comfort and pleasure.

Are there sex toys specifically made for people who like to hump?

Yes. There’s now a whole category of toys built just for grinding / humping / tribbing, not penetration:

• Grinding pads & hump toys – flat or slightly raised silicone “pads” you lay on a bed, pillow, chair, or floor and grind against.
• Grinder vibrators & rideable cushions – wedge or saddle shapes with built-in vibration meant to be ridden hands-free.
• Strap-on grinding surfaces – silicone panels you strap to a pillow or rolled towel (like the Tentacle Grinder) so you can hump something soft with a textured, body-safe surface.

Brands like Babeland, Spectrum Boutique, Early to Bed, and several queer/sex-positive shops use labels like “grinding toys,” “humping toys,” or “tribbing toys” so you can find them easily.

How do you strap a humping toy to a pillow or cushion?

Many grinders are designed to work with a pillow you already own, especially strap-style toys:

1. Choose a firm pillow or tightly rolled towel – too soft will collapse under your weight.
2. Wrap the pillow in the toy’s adjustable straps, or use the included harness system. Toys like the Tentacle Grinder are built specifically for this.
3. Position the textured or raised area where your genitals will land when you lie or sit on it.
4. Tighten the straps so the toy doesn’t slide or twist when you grind.
5. Test with a few slow movements fully clothed before you add lube or go harder.

If your toy doesn’t come with straps, you can improvise with elastic bands, yoga straps, or tight pillowcases, but purpose-built strap kits are more secure and less likely to move mid-session.

Are grinding toys only for vulvas, or can people with penises use them too?

Grinding toys are for any anatomy that enjoys pressure and friction:

• People with penises can:

• Grind the shaft or glans along a textured pad or hump toy.
• Press the perineum or base of the penis against a vibrating grinder.
• Use a stroker mounted into a hump pillow for hands-free “riding.”

• People with vulvas can:

• Grind the clitoris, labia, and mons against ridges and bumps.
• Use different angles to target the clitoral shaft, hood, or whole vulva.

Most “grinding + humping toys” are marketed toward vulva owners, but in practice they’re just external stimulation platforms — anyone who likes rubbing against something can adapt them.

What Humping Toys Offer & Who They Help

These products serve distinct purposes beyond traditional vibrators or penetrative toys:

• Hands-free pleasure: Allows natural body movements without manual stimulation
• Accessible intimacy: Ideal for people with hand mobility limitations or arthritis
• Non-penetrative options: Perfect for those avoiding or unable to use insertable toys
• Solo exploration: Provides satisfying alternatives to hand-based techniques
• Partner play enhancement: Adds texture and stimulation during grinding or outercourse
• Clitoral focus: Targets external pleasure zones through pressure and friction
• Stamina building: Some users practice rhythm control and edging techniques
• Discreet activity: Many designs resemble decorative pillows or cushions

These products work particularly well for:

• Individuals seeking external-only stimulation without penetration
• People with physical limitations affecting hand dexterity or arm strength
• Those exploring body-safe masturbation alternatives
• Couples interested in outercourse or non-penetrative intimacy
• Anyone wanting hands-free pleasure during relaxation or media consumption

Product Categories: Understanding Your Options

Grinding Pillows & Wedges

Design characteristics:

• Firm, contoured cushions with ridged or textured surfaces
• Typically 12–18 inches long, 6–10 inches wide
• Ergonomic angles (usually 15–30 degrees) for comfortable positioning
• Removable, washable covers over dense foam cores

How they work: You position the pillow between your legs while lying face-down, on your side, or seated. Body weight creates pressure while hip movements generate friction against the textured surface.

Best for:

• Beginners to humping toys seeking simple, intuitive designs
• Those who enjoy firm, broad pressure across the entire vulva
• People wanting discreet products that resemble regular pillows
• Individuals with limited mobility who need stable, stationary options

Material considerations:

• Velvet or suede-like textures provide pleasant friction without irritation
• Silicone-topped versions offer body-safe, sterilizable surfaces
• Memory foam cores mold to body contours but may compress over time
• High-density foam maintains shape better for vigorous use

Vibrating Humping Cushions

Enhanced features:

• Built-in motors providing vibration through the grinding surface
• Multiple speed and pattern settings (typically 5–10 options)
• Rechargeable batteries lasting 60–90 minutes per charge
• Waterproof ratings for easy cleaning

Advantages over non-vibrating:

• Dual stimulation: friction plus vibration
• Less physical effort required to reach climax
• Adjustable intensity for varying sensitivity levels
• Partner can control settings during shared play

Considerations:

• Heavier than standard pillows (motors add 1–2 pounds)
• Require charging maintenance
• May produce noticeable noise (check decibel ratings)
• Higher cost ($60–$120 versus $30–$50 for non-vibrating)

Saddle-Style Grinders

Distinctive design:

• Rounded, saddle-shaped form factor
• Elevated ridges or bumps for targeted stimulation
• Typically 8–12 inches long with 4–6 inch height
• Stable base prevents tipping during use

Positioning: Straddle the device while kneeling or sitting, allowing controlled rocking motions forward and back.

Unique benefits:

• Targets specific areas (clitoris, perineum) more precisely than flat pillows
• Mimics partnered grinding positions while solo
• Adjustable pressure by changing body weight distribution
• Compact size for easier storage than large cushions

Who they suit:

• Experienced users comfortable with more direct pressure
• Those seeking targeted stimulation rather than broad coverage
• People with strong core muscles for controlled positioning
• Individuals preferring upright positions to lying down

Textured Sleeves & Strokers

Configuration:

• Flexible sleeves or tunnels with internal textures
• Can be placed over pillows, between mattress layers, or used handheld
• Typically 6–10 inches long, 2–4 inches wide
• Made from TPE, silicone, or cyberskin materials

Usage method: Position the sleeve where you want to grind against it. Body weight and hip movements create friction against internal textures.

Advantages:

• Customizable positioning and firmness (adjust pillow stuffing underneath)
• Easier to clean than full cushions (remove and wash separately)
• Can combine with existing household pillows to save cost
• Allows temperature play (warm in hot water before use)

Attachable Accessories for Standard Toys

Product types:

• Textured caps or covers that attach to wand vibrators
• Suction cup mounts holding vibrators or dildos in grinding positions
• Harness systems securing toys to pillows or furniture

Purpose: Converts insertable toys or wands into grinding-friendly configurations.

When to choose:

• You already own vibrators or dildos wanting to expand usage
• Seeking budget-friendly entry into humping toys
• Wanting versatility to switch between grinding and traditional use
• Preferring modular systems over dedicated single-purpose products

Selection Criteria: Matching Products to Your Needs

Size & Portability

Measure your available storage before purchasing larger items.

Firmness Levels

Soft/plush (memory foam, poly-fill):

• Molds to body shape
• Gentler pressure, suitable for sensitive areas
• May compress significantly, requiring replacement sooner
• Best for: Beginners, those with high sensitivity

Medium (high-density foam):

• Balances comfort with structure
• Maintains shape through most body weights
• Versatile for various grinding styles
• Best for: Most users, general-purpose use

Firm (solid silicone, rigid cores):

• Maximum pressure and targeted stimulation
• Most durable, longest lifespan
• Can feel uncomfortable for extended sessions
• Best for: Experienced users, those requiring strong pressure

Surface Textures

Smooth surfaces:

• Less friction, requires more movement for stimulation
• Easier to clean thoroughly
• Better with added lubrication
• Reduces irritation risk for sensitive skin

Ribbed or ridged:

• Moderate texture providing enhanced sensation
• Most popular texture type
• Good balance of stimulation and comfort
• Works with or without lubricant

Nubbed or studded:

• Intense, targeted sensation from raised bumps
• Requires careful positioning to avoid discomfort
• Best used with lubricant to reduce friction
• May cause irritation during extended sessions

Realistic textures (skin-like):

• Mimics body contact sensations
• Requires more maintenance (special cleaning)
• Higher cost due to material complexity
• Appeals to those seeking partner-simulation experience

Material Safety & Maintenance

Body-safe priorities:

• Medical-grade silicone (non-porous, hypoallergenic)
• TPE certified phthalate-free
• ABS plastic for rigid components
• Organic cotton or bamboo fabric covers

Avoid:

• Jelly rubber (contains harmful phthalates)
• PVC without safety certification
• Materials with strong chemical smells
• Products without clear material composition listings

Maintenance requirements:

How to Use Humping Toys: Positions & Techniques

Basic Face-Down Position

Setup:

1. Place pillow or cushion on a firm surface (bed, floor with yoga mat)
2. Position lengthwise between your legs
3. Lie face-down with vulva or genital area centered on the textured surface
4. Adjust until contact feels comfortable

Movement:

• Rock hips forward and back in slow, controlled motions
• Experiment with circular grinding patterns
• Adjust body angle (flatten against surface or lift hips higher)
• Vary pressure by shifting weight distribution

Benefits: Most intuitive position, requires minimal core strength, easy to sustain for extended periods.

Side-Lying Position

Setup:

1. Lie on your side with knees bent
2. Position cushion between thighs, centered on vulva
3. Squeeze thighs together to create pressure
4. Support head with arm or separate pillow

Movement:

• Squeeze and release thighs rhythmically
• Rock hips in small motions
• Adjust cushion angle for different contact points

Benefits: Comfortable for extended sessions, less strain on neck and back, discreet under covers.

Seated Straddle

Setup:

1. Place saddle-style grinder or firm cushion on chair or bed edge
2. Straddle the toy while kneeling or sitting
3. Position contact point directly on clitoris or desired area
4. Use furniture or walls for hand support

Movement:

• Rock forward and back using leg muscles
• Lift and lower hips to vary pressure
• Rotate hips in circular patterns
• Experiment with bouncing motions (if toy is stable)

Benefits: Targets specific areas precisely, allows for partner eye contact during shared play, works well with vibrating models.

Modified Positions for Mobility Considerations

For limited hip mobility:

• Use larger, flatter pillows requiring less range of motion
• Try side-lying positions with minimal movement
• Consider vibrating models reducing need for vigorous grinding

For back or neck issues:

• Elevate upper body with additional pillows supporting torso
• Choose side-lying positions over face-down
• Use firmer cushions requiring less pressure application

For hand/wrist limitations:

• Hands-free designs are ideal—no manual stimulation needed
• Remote-controlled vibrating models eliminate button-pressing during use
• Consider remote controlled vibrators that pair with grinding accessories

Enhancing Your Experience: Tips & Accessories

Lubrication Considerations

Using lubricant with humping toys:

When to use:

• Extended sessions (20+ minutes) to prevent friction irritation
• With textured surfaces featuring prominent ridges or nubs
• On materials that aren't naturally slick (fabric, TPE)
• If you experience natural lubrication variations

Application method:

• Apply directly to toy surface, not just to your body
• Use water-based formulas for all toy types (silicone-safe)
• Reapply every 10–15 minutes as needed
• Keep bottle within reach for easy access

When to skip:

• Smooth silicone surfaces may become too slippery
• If natural lubrication is abundant
• With certain fabric textures that absorb and feel unpleasant when wet

Adding Vibration Strategically

Placement options:

1. Underneath: Position a bullet vibrator or small toy under the grinding surface
2. Between layers: Sandwich a flat vibrator between cushion and cover
3. Held in place: Use one hand to hold a vibrator against the toy during grinding
4. Built-in: Choose cushions with integrated motors

A bullet vibrator placed strategically adds customizable intensity without committing to a fully vibrating pillow.

Creating the Right Environment

Physical comfort:

• Set room temperature 2–3 degrees warmer than usual (you'll be stationary)
• Use additional pillows supporting arms, legs, or torso as needed
• Consider waterproof pads under toys for easier cleanup
• Keep water nearby for hydration breaks

Privacy considerations:

• Use white noise machines or music to mask any toy sounds
• Lock doors if sharing living space
• Position yourself away from windows or thin walls
• Choose quieter toys if discretion is essential

Partner Integration

Outercourse with humping toys:

• One partner grinds the toy while the other provides manual or oral stimulation elsewhere
• Both partners can grind against opposite sides of a large pillow simultaneously
• The non-grinding partner controls vibration settings via remote
• Use grinding as foreplay before transitioning to other activities

Communication during shared play:

• Discuss positioning before starting
• Ask "Does this angle work?" and "Want more or less pressure?"
• Establish signals for adjusting toy placement
• Check in about comfort every few minutes

Safety, Hygiene & Maintenance

Pre-Use Inspection

Before each session, check for:

• Tears, holes, or weak spots in covers or materials
• Exposed foam or internal components
• Fraying seams or stitching
• Strong chemical odors indicating material degradation
• Battery or charging port integrity (for motorized models)

Replace products showing significant wear—compromised materials can cause irritation or infection.

Cleaning Protocols

Immediately after use:

1. Remove washable covers within 10 minutes
2. Spot-clean any bodily fluids from foam cores with damp cloth
3. Wipe silicone or plastic surfaces with toy cleaner or mild soap
4. Allow all components to air-dry completely (4–6 hours minimum)

Deep cleaning frequency:

• Fabric covers: Machine wash weekly
• Silicone surfaces: Boil monthly (if non-motorized)
• TPE materials: Thorough soap cleaning after every 3–4 uses
• Foam cores: Spot-clean as needed, no full submersion

Review sexual health and hygiene practices for additional context on toy safety.

Storage Best Practices

Protecting your investment:

• Store in cool, dry locations away from direct sunlight
• Keep in breathable fabric bags, not sealed plastic
• Store separately from other toys (silicone can react with certain materials)
• Ensure completely dry before storage to prevent mold

Discretion strategies:

• Use decorative pillow covers that match bedroom decor
• Store in ottoman storage or under-bed containers
• Keep in closets among regular pillows
• Choose neutral colors and designs for easy camouflage

Common Questions & Troubleshooting

"The Toy Doesn't Provide Enough Pressure"

Solutions:

• Place toy on firmer surface (floor with yoga mat versus soft mattress)
• Add weight by wearing a weighted belt or placing books nearby for pressing
• Choose firmer density cushions designed for more pressure
• Try saddle-style grinders that concentrate pressure on smaller areas
• Adjust positioning to focus body weight more directly downward

"I Can't Find the Right Angle"

Adjustments to try:

• Rotate the toy 45–90 degrees
• Lift hips higher using additional pillows underneath
• Shift forward or backward 2–3 inches
• Try different positions (face-down versus side-lying versus seated)
• Add smaller cushions or folded towels to fine-tune elevation

Expect 5–10 minutes of experimentation during first sessions.

"The Texture Causes Irritation"

Remedies:

• Apply generous water-based lubricant to both surface and body
• Place a thin, smooth fabric (like silk or satin) over textured areas
• Choose toys with gentler surface textures
• Limit session duration to 15–20 minutes maximum
• Take breaks every 5–7 minutes to reduce friction accumulation

Persistent irritation indicates the texture isn't compatible with your body—switch to smoother options.

"I Feel Self-Conscious About Using These Products"

Perspective shifts:

• Humping toys are tools for self-pleasure, just like any other intimate product
• Many people use similar products—you're not alone in this preference
• Your body's pleasure preferences are valid regardless of what's "typical"
• There's no "right" way to experience pleasure; find what works for you

If self-consciousness persists, explore gradually by incorporating humping toys into existing routines rather than making them the sole focus.

What’s the difference between a grinding toy and a regular vibrator?

Key differences:

• Shape & use:

• • Regular vibrators are usually designed to be held in your hand and applied to a spot or inserted.
  • Grinding toys are meant to be ridden, straddled, or humped, letting your hips and body weight do the work.

• Surface area:

• • Grinders often have a wider, flatter, or contoured surface to catch more of the vulva or pelvic area.
  • Many vibrators are smaller and more pinpoint.

• Hands-free potential:

• • Grinding toys are built for hands-free outercourse, which is ideal if your hands get tired or you just want to hold a book, phone, or your partner instead.

If you love grinding on pillows or mattress edges, a grinding toy is like a purpose-built, body-safe upgrade to what you’re already doing.

Are humping toys discreet, or do they look obviously sexual?

A lot of grinding toys are designed to be very discreet:

• Many look like small wedges, cushions, or abstract silicone lumps, not realistic genitals.
• Some brands sell them in neutral colors and shapes that could pass as:

• • Meditation bolsters
  • Decorative pillows
  • Back-support cushions

To keep things low-key:

• Choose non-flesh-tone colors (black, teal, purple, etc.).
• Store them with other pillows or in a basket or ottoman.
• Clean and air-dry them so they don’t have any obvious scent.

Most visitors won’t recognize a grinding pillow as a sex toy unless they’re very familiar with that category.

How do I know if a humping toy is worth the price?

Grinding toys range from $30-ish to over $150, so it’s fair to ask what you’re paying for:

Consider:

• Materials & safety – medical-grade silicone and high-density foam cost more but last longer and are safer.
• Features – multiple strong vibration modes, remote control, or clever strap systems add cost.
• Durability – good grinders keep their shape and texture after years, not weeks.
• Real reviews – look at queer- and sex-positive shops (Babeland, Spectrum Boutique, Wild Flower, Early to Bed) and review lists from places like SELF or GQ rather than just random marketplace listings.

If you already know you love humping surfaces, investing in one quality grinder usually makes more sense than cycling through cheap, shapeless pillows that compress, irritate your skin, and wear out quickly.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are humping toys only for people with vulvas?

No, though most products are marketed toward vulva owners. People with penises can use grinding pillows for penile shaft stimulation, perineum massage, or prostate massager positioning. Some grinders work well when combined with male stroker toys for hands-free experiences. The key is finding textures and firmness levels that provide pleasurable friction for your specific anatomy.

How long do humping sessions typically last?

Solo sessions average 10–25 minutes depending on arousal level, grinding intensity, and whether you're edging or pursuing direct climax. Partner outercourse sessions may extend to 30–45 minutes as grinding alternates with other activities. Extended sessions beyond 30 minutes increase friction irritation risk—take breaks, reapply lubricant, and listen to your body's signals.

Can I use these toys during menstruation?

Yes, with appropriate hygiene measures. Use menstrual products (cups, discs, or tampons) during grinding sessions. Place a waterproof pad or dark towel under toys to protect surfaces. Clean thoroughly immediately after use. Some people find grinding provides menstrual cramp relief through endorphin release and pelvic muscle engagement, while others prefer avoiding sexual activity during menstruation.

Do humping toys work if I've never orgasmed from external stimulation alone?

They may help you discover external pleasure, but aren't guaranteed solutions. The combination of pressure, friction, and (in vibrating models) vibration provides different sensation than manual touch. Give yourself 3–5 genuine attempts with various positions and settings before concluding they won't work for you. Some bodies require internal stimulation, penetration, or specific techniques these toys can't replicate—that's normal anatomical variation.

How do I choose between vibrating and non-vibrating options?

Consider your experience with vibrators generally. If you enjoy vibration during other sexual activities, vibrating grinding toys will likely appeal. If you find vibration numbing, distracting, or overstimulating, stick with non-vibrating options that rely purely on friction and pressure. Budget also matters—non-vibrating toys cost 30–50% less. You can always start non-vibrating and add separate bullet vibrators later if desired.

Are these products safe during pregnancy?

Generally yes, with considerations. External grinding doesn't pose risks to pregnancy itself. However, pelvic congestion during pregnancy may make some positions uncomfortable, and you should avoid excessive abdominal pressure. Consult healthcare providers about appropriate sexual activities during pregnancy, especially if you have any complications. 

Many people find side-lying positions most comfortable during later pregnancy stages. Review pregnancy and sexual health guidelines for additional information.

Selecting Your First Humping Toy

Start with versatile, forgiving options rather than highly specialized designs. A medium-firmness grinding pillow with moderate texture suits most beginners. Avoid purchasing expensive vibrating models until you've confirmed you enjoy the basic grinding sensation.

Give yourself permission to experiment with positions, angles, and techniques across multiple sessions before judging whether a product works. First attempts rarely deliver perfect results—familiarity improves outcomes significantly.

Ready to explore hands-free pleasure options? Discover body-safe products through sex toys for women designed for comfortable external stimulation and grinding experiences.