30+ Sex Ideas: Fun Things to Try with Your Partner

Exploring new sexual experiences revitalizes intimacy through novelty-driven dopamine release, variety preventing bedroom routine monotony, communication-building conversations about desires and boundaries, confidence growth from vulnerability sharing, deeper emotional connection through shared adventures,

and pleasure discovery identifying previously unknown turn-ons—with possibilities ranging from simple additions like new sex toys or positions requiring zero preparation, to moderate adventures like sensory play with blindfolds or temperature involving minimal planning, to advanced explorations like threesomes or public encounters demanding extensive communication and boundary-setting.

Sexual exploration benefits all relationship stages whether igniting new relationship passion, reinvigorating long-term partnerships experiencing predictability, or solo individuals expanding self-pleasure repertoires.

Whether you're seeking beginner-friendly ideas, understanding communication strategies before experimentation, learning toy integration, exploring sensory experiences, trying location changes, or advancing to complex scenarios, this comprehensive guide covers 30+ actionable suggestions, preparation techniques, and safety considerations.

Why Trying New Things Boosts Desire: The Brain Science Behind It

Novel sexual activities activate the dopamine reward system—the same one involved in excitement, anticipation, and pleasure. When couples introduce something new, the brain registers novelty as stimulation, which increases arousal and emotional bonding.

This dopamine response explains why even small changes, like a new position or location, can feel dramatically more exciting than routine sex. It breaks predictable patterns, reignites curiosity, and strengthens the emotional and physical attraction between partners.

Exploration also reduces anxiety by encouraging a “play mindset.” When both partners agree to try new experiences without pressure to perform, sexual enjoyment becomes less about results and more about shared discovery, making sex feel easier, more connected, and more pleasurable.

Mood-Boosting Ideas That Transform the Sexual Atmosphere

Changing the emotional tone of the room can be as powerful as changing sexual technique. Simple sensory adjustments can help partners feel more relaxed, confident, and mentally present.

Lighting influences arousal significantly. Warm, soft light or candles creates safety and sensuality, while dim lighting reduces body-image anxiety. Scents such as vanilla, amber, or sandalwood can deepen relaxation, and a curated playlist sets rhythm and emotional tone for foreplay and climax.

For deeper immersion, try themed atmosphere nights—romantic slow dance night, spa-style massage evening, or a playful hotel fantasy recreated at home with clean sheets, robes, and minimal distractions. These environment shifts require no sexual “skill,” yet profoundly affect arousal.

Why Sexual Exploration Matters

Benefits beyond momentary pleasure.

Relationship Strengthening

Communication Enhancement:

• Discussing desires requires vulnerability
• Negotiating boundaries builds trust
• Describing experiences develops sexual vocabulary
• Asking for needs creates assertiveness

Intimacy Deepening:

• Shared adventures create bonding memories
• Vulnerability during experimentation increases closeness
• Laughter during awkward moments builds connection
• Discovering partner's pleasure points shows care

According to relationship guidance from Planned Parenthood, open communication about sexual desires and boundaries is essential for healthy intimate relationships.

Personal Growth

Self-Discovery:

• Learning what feels good physically
• Understanding psychological turn-ons
• Identifying boundaries and limits
• Building sexual confidence

Breaking Routine:

• Novelty activates reward centers in brain
• Anticipation creates excitement
• Variety prevents boredom
• New experiences create lasting memories

When Exploration Helps Most

• Long-term relationships feeling stale
• After life transitions (kids, career changes, relocation)
• Recovering from sexual ruts
• Building confidence after negative experiences
• Deepening already-strong connections

Communication Before Experimentation

Essential conversations preventing mishaps.

The Pre-Adventure Discussion

Topics to Cover:

Desires & Interests:

• "I've been curious about trying..."
• "What have you fantasized about?"
• "Are there things you've wanted to suggest?"

Hard Limits:

• "I'm absolutely not comfortable with..."
• "Things I never want to try include..."
• Clear, non-negotiable boundaries

Soft Limits:

• "I'm unsure but might be willing..."
• "Maybe we could try a small version first..."
• Open to exploration with conditions

Logistics:

• Time/place requirements
• Preparation needed
• Supplies to purchase
• When to attempt (not when stressed/tired)

Establishing Safe Communication

During Activities:

• Check-in phrases: "How does this feel?" / "Is this okay?"
• Safe word/signal for stopping immediately
• "More/less/different" guidance system
• Non-verbal signals if using ball gag or similar

After Activities:

• Debrief: What worked, what didn't
• Express appreciation: "I loved when you..."
• Address concerns: "Next time, let's adjust..."
• Plan refinements or new adventures

Managing Mismatched Enthusiasm

If One Partner More Interested:

• Don't pressure reluctant partner
• Start with least intimidating version
• Emphasize optionality: "We can stop anytime"
• Validate concerns: "I understand your hesitation"
• Compromise: "You choose next adventure"

Beginner-Friendly Ideas (Minimal Preparation)

Easy starting points requiring little planning.

Try New Sex Positions

Why It Works:

• No equipment needed
• Adjustable difficulty
• Immediate implementation
• Familiar activity with twist

Positions to Explore:

• Spooning (intimate, low-effort)
• Cowgirl/reverse cowgirl (receiver control)
• Standing positions (novelty factor)
• Edge-of-bed variations
• Legs-on-shoulders (deeper penetration)

Tip: Start with one new position per session, not five at once.

Incorporate Sex Toys

Beginner Toys:

• Bullet vibrator (small, non-intimidating, external use)
• Cock ring (enhances erection, simple use)
• Small butt plug (anal introduction)
• Couples vibrator (wearable during sex)

Integration Method:

• Introduce during foreplay first (less pressure)
• Use on partner before using on self (builds comfort)
• Keep it optional: "Want to try this?" not "We're using this"

Change Locations

In-Home Variations:

• Kitchen counter
• Shower/bathtub
• Living room floor
• Laundry room (washing machine vibrations)
• Stairs

Benefits:

• Zero cost
• Immediate availability
• Novelty without leaving home
• Different physical angles

Extend Foreplay Significantly

The 30-Minute Rule:

• Spend minimum 30 minutes on foreplay before penetration
• Explore entire body, not just genitals
• Tease and retreat repeatedly
• Build anticipation until both desperately ready

Why It Matters:

• Increases arousal exponentially
• Better orgasms from heightened tension
• Slows down rushed sex

Mutual Masturbation

Setup:

• Both partners pleasure themselves simultaneously
• Watch each other's techniques
• Learn what partner enjoys
• Eliminates performance pressure

Why Try:

• Educational (see how they touch themselves)
• Intimate vulnerability
• Easier orgasms (self-stimulation familiarity)

Toy & Tool Exploration

Enhancing with products.

Sex Toy Categories to Explore

For Vulva-Owners:

For Penis-Owners:

• Strokers/masturbators (solo or partnered handjobs)
• Prostate massagers (intense orgasms)
• Cock rings (firmer erections, stamina)
• Penis pumps (temporary size increase, arousal)

For All:

• Anal toys (butt plugs, beads, prostate toys)
• Bondage gear (restraints, blindfolds, gags)
• Sensation toys (feathers, pinwheels, ice)

Couples Toy Ideas

Remote Control Vibrator

• Partner controls vibrator worn during date/dinner
• Anticipation and power exchange
• Discreet public play (use cautiously, respect public spaces)

Vibrating Cock Ring

• Worn during penetrative sex
• Stimulates receiver's clitoris
• Enhances sensation for wearer

Double-Ended Dildo

• Simultaneous penetration for both partners
• Requires coordination (can be humorous)
• Intense intimacy

Using Toys During Partnered Sex

• Add vibrator to clitoris during penetration (dramatically increases orgasm likelihood)
• Use butt plug on one partner during intercourse (fullness sensation)
• Nipple clamps during any activity (constant stimulation)
• Vibrating toys on penis during oral sex

Sensory Play Ideas

Engaging beyond typical touch.

Blindfold Play

Setup:

• Use sleep mask, tie, or dedicated blindfold
• Remove sight from receiver
• Partner teases with unpredictable touches

Why It Works:

• Heightens other senses (touch, hearing, smell)
• Creates vulnerability and trust
• Anticipation intensifies sensations
• Removes self-consciousness about body/expressions

Temperature Play

Cold:

• Ice cubes trailed along skin
• Chilled metal toys (place in fridge)
• Cold massage oil
• Menthol/cooling lubricants

Heat:

• Warm massage oil
• Heated toys (designed for this purpose)
• Warm breath on sensitive areas
• Hot wax play (use body-safe candles only)

Caution: Test temperature on inner wrist first. Never extreme temperatures.

Feather or Texture Play

Items to Use:

• Feathers (light tickling)
• Silk scarves (smooth dragging)
• Soft brush (gentle stimulation)
• Rough fabric (contrasting sensation)
• Fur mitt (stroking)

Technique:

• Very light touch initially
• Tease erogenous zones
• Alternate textures for variety

Massage & Oil

Full-Body Sensual Massage:

• Use massage oil or lubricant
• 20-30 minutes minimum
• Include non-sexual areas (feet, hands, scalp)
• Build to genital touching
• No expectation of sex (though often leads there)

Roleplay & Fantasy

Stepping into new personas.

Simple Roleplay Scenarios

Beginner Roles:

• Strangers meeting at bar
• Boss/employee
• Teacher/student
• Doctor/patient
• Delivery person/customer

How to Start:

• Plan scenario beforehand: "Tonight, we're strangers meeting"
• Light costume elements (not full outfits)
• Play up dynamic: authority/submission, strangers' excitement
• Stay in character only during scene (not hours-long commitment)

Recreate First Time Together

• Go to same location if possible
• Wear similar clothing
• Reference early relationship moments
• Recapture nervous excitement
• Appreciate how far you've come

Fantasy Sharing

Verbal Fantasy Exploration:

• Describe fantasy while touching partner
• Take turns sharing elaborate scenarios
• No judgment agreement beforehand
• Some fantasies stay fantasy (don't require acting out)

Categories:

• Location fantasies (beach, hotel, public)
• Persona fantasies (celebrity, authority figure)
• Group scenarios (threesome, orgy)
• BDSM dynamics (domination, submission)

Kink & BDSM Introduction

Beginner power exchange and sensation.

Light Bondage

Simple Restraints:

• Hold partner's wrists above head (no equipment)
• Soft handcuffs or restraints
• Silk scarves tied to bedframe
• Under-bed restraint system

Safety:

• Never leave restrained person alone
• Have safety scissors nearby (cut bonds in emergency)
• Check circulation every 10 minutes
• Establish safe word

Spanking

Starting Technique:

• Hand only initially (no implements)
• Spank buttocks (avoid spine, tailbone, kidneys)
• Start light, build intensity gradually
• Check in: "Is this okay?"

Progression:

• Paddles (broader impact, less sting)
• Floggers (many tails, distributed sensation)

Dominance & Submission

Non-Painful D/s:

• Giving orders: "Undress slowly" / "Don't touch yourself"
• Service: Dominant being pleasured while submissive performs
• Begging: Submissive asks permission for pleasure
• Orgasm control: Dominant decides when submissive can finish

Why Try:

• Power exchange arousing for many
• Takes pressure off decision-making
• Explores different relationship dynamics

Nipple Play & Clamps

• Licking, sucking, biting (start gentle)
• Pinching or twisting (check sensitivity)
• Nipple clamps (adjustable pressure)
• Ice or heat on nipples (temperature contrast)

Anal Exploration

Backdoor adventures for all.

Anal Fingering

Technique:

• Use abundant lubricant (anus doesn't self-lubricate)
• External massage first (5 minutes)
• Insert single finger slowly
• Hold still, let receiver relax
• Gentle movement once comfortable

For Penis-Owners:

• Angle toward front wall for prostate stimulation
• "Come hither" motion on prostate
• Intense sensation possible

Butt Plug Use

Solo or Partnered:

• Start with small diameter (0.5-0.75 inch)
• Wear during other sexual activities
• Fullness sensation enhances other pleasure
• Use during masturbation or intercourse

Strap-On Play (Pegging)

Setup:

• Requires strap-on harness and dildo
• Extensive anal preparation (warm-up with fingers/plugs)
• Abundant lubrication
• Receiver-on-top position initially (control depth/pace)

Appeal:

• Role reversal for different-sex couples
• Prostate stimulation for receivers
• Power dynamic exploration

Communication & Verbal Play

Words as arousal tools.

Dirty Talk

Levels:

Beginner:

• Compliments: "You feel amazing"
• Requests: "Touch me here"
• Affirmations: "Yes, just like that"

Intermediate:

• Descriptive: "I love how wet you are"
• Commanding: "Fuck me harder"
• Fantasizing: "Imagine if someone was watching"

Advanced:

• Degradation (consensual): Specific language negotiated beforehand
• Elaborate scenarios: Multi-minute fantasy narration

Phone/Video Sex

When Apart:

• Describe what you'd do if together
• Masturbate simultaneously on video
• Send audio messages (moaning, heavy breathing)
• Build anticipation for reunion

Sex Journaling

Shared Documentation:

• Keep journal of sexual adventures
• Rate experiences
• Write fantasies for partner to discover
• Document "sex bucket list"

Advanced & Adventurous Ideas

For experienced explorers.

Threesome

Preparation Required:

• Extensive communication about boundaries
• Choosing third person carefully (friend vs. stranger considerations)
• Ground rules: what's allowed/forbidden
• Jealousy management strategies
• STI testing for all

Not for Everyone: Requires strong relationship foundation, excellent communication, and both partners genuinely enthusiastic.

Sex Party or Club

What to Expect:

• Venues with play spaces
• Voyeurism and exhibitionism opportunities
• Strict consent culture and rules
• Couple admission typical

Preparation:

• Research venue beforehand
• Discuss boundaries extensively
• Observe-only first visit often wise

Public/Semi-Public Sex

Lower Risk Options:

• Car in secluded area
• Late-night beach or park (verify legality)
• Changing room (risky but common fantasy)
• Balcony/patio (ensure no visibility)

Legal Consideration: Public indecency laws exist. Balancing thrill with consequences important.

Recording Yourselves

Setup:

• Phone on tripod or propped
• Good lighting and angle
• Decide on storage/deletion plans beforehand

Benefits:

• See yourselves from different perspective
• Learn what looks good
• Rewatch later for arousal

Critical: Consent for recording ongoing. Either partner can request deletion anytime.

Experiment with Gender Expression

• Pegging (if haven't tried)
• Cross-dressing or gender play
• Exploring different power dynamics
• Trying traditionally "opposite" roles

Incorporating Erotica or Porn

• Read erotic stories aloud to each other
• Watch porn together (discuss preferences)
• Recreate scenes that appeal
• Use as conversation starter about desires

Idea Sorting by Preparation Level

Safety & Consent Reminders

• Discuss before attempting anything new
• Safe word for stopping immediately ("Red" common)
• Either partner can veto any idea
• Start smallest/easiest version first
• Lube generously for any anal play
• Never shame partner for saying no
• Respect ongoing consent (yes can become no mid-activity)

Frequently Asked Questions

Is sex for 1 hour normal?

Yes, depending on the couple. Some partners prefer longer sessions involving extended foreplay, breaks, or slow sex. Others enjoy shorter, more intense encounters. Duration doesn’t reflect relationship quality—satisfaction comes from comfort and pleasure, not time spent.

Is 20 minutes too long for sex?

Not at all. Many couples report that 15–25 minutes of foreplay followed by penetration feels ideal. Some reach orgasm quickly, others slowly. What matters is mutual enjoyment, not adherence to a specific timeline.

What are the 4 C’s of sex?

A common framework used by therapists includes consent, communication, connection, and comfort. These pillars ensure partners feel safe, respected, and emotionally bonded during exploration.

How do we keep sex exciting long-term?

Try one new idea at a time, communicate openly, prioritize quality over quantity, and maintain curiosity about your partner’s evolving desires. Small changes, like adjusting lighting or adding a vibrator, often create the biggest impact over time.

How do I suggest trying something new without offending my partner?

Frame positively: "I've been thinking it might be fun to try..." rather than "I'm bored with what we do." Emphasize addition not replacement. Ask about their curiosities: "What have you wondered about?" Make it collaborative exploration, not criticism.

What if we try something and it's awkward or doesn't work?

Laugh about it! Most new sexual experiences have awkward moments. Debrief after: "That was sillier than expected" or "Let's modify next time." Failed experiments are learning experiences, not disasters. Awkwardness often brings couples closer.

How many new things should we try at once?

One at a time. Introducing multiple new elements creates overwhelm and prevents identifying what worked. Try one new position/toy/activity per session, repeat if enjoyed, then add another.

My partner isn't interested in trying new things. What do I do?

Don't pressure. Ask why: fear, satisfaction with current routine, different libido, past negative experience? Address underlying concerns. Propose very small changes first. If fundamental incompatibility, couples counseling may help, or accept limitation.

How do we decide whose fantasy to try first?

Take turns choosing, or start with shared interests (both curious). Easier activities before harder ones. Person more enthusiastic suggests modification making it comfortable for hesitant partner. Compromise: "We'll try your idea this week, mine next week."

Is it normal to not want to try most of these?

Absolutely. This list presents options, not obligations. Sexual satisfaction comes from enjoying what you do, not quantity of activities tried. Vanilla sex done well beats adventurous sex done poorly.

Conclusion

Sexual exploration strengthens relationships through communication-building conversations about desires and boundaries, novelty-driven excitement preventing bedroom predictability, vulnerability-sharing deepening emotional intimacy, and pleasure discovery expanding understanding of mutual turn-ons, with 30+ ideas ranging from simple additions like new positions or basic sex toys requiring zero preparation, to sensory play with blindfolds and temperature involving minimal planning, to advanced scenarios like threesomes or power exchange demanding extensive discussion and trust-building.

Success depends less on specific activities chosen than on approach: enthusiastic consent from all involved, thorough communication before and after experimentation, willingness to laugh at awkward moments, prioritizing partner comfort over crossing arbitrary milestones, and remembering exploration serves relationship enhancement not checklist completion, with best sexual adventures emerging from mutual curiosity, respect for boundaries, and playful spirit of discovery rather than pressure to perform increasingly extreme acts.

Explore sex toys for couples, bondage and restraints, lubricants for every activity, and complete intimate wellness collection at Jissbon.