How to Use a Dildo for Beginners: Complete Guide

Learning how to use a dildo for the first time should be comfortable, safe, and pleasurable. Whether you're using a dildo solo or with a partner, understanding proper dildo use—from choosing safe dildos to mastering dildo technique—ensures a positive experience.

This guide covers everything about using a dildo: selecting body-safe materials, step-by-step instructions for first-time users, the best positions, lubricant compatibility, cleaning and storage, and troubleshooting common issues. We'll help you explore confidently and safely.

Who Benefits from This Dildo Guide

Dildos work for various people and situations:

• First-time dildo users – Learn proper technique and avoid common mistakes.
• People exploring penetration solo – Understand your body at your own pace.
• Couples adding toys to sex – Enhance partnered play with proper dildo usage.
• Anyone seeking G-spot or P-spot stimulation – Curved dildos target specific pleasure spots.
• People practicing for penetrative sex – Build comfort and confidence gradually.
• Those with partners who can't or don't want penetrative sex – Dildos provide alternative options.

The key is starting small, using plenty of lube, and listening to your body's signals.

Choosing Your First Dildo: What to Look For

Not all dildos are created equal. Prioritize these factors for safe dildo use:

Size & Shape

For beginners:

• Length: 4–6 inches insertable length (you don't need to use it all).
• Diameter: 1–1.25 inches (about finger-width to slightly thicker).
• Shape: Straight or gently curved for easier insertion.

Avoid:

• Anything over 1.5 inches diameter for first-time use.
• Extremely realistic textures (veins, pronounced heads) that can be uncomfortable.

Material (CRITICAL for Safety)

Body-safe materials:

• Medical-grade silicone – Non-porous, hypoallergenic, easy to clean, lasts years.
• Glass (borosilicate) – Non-porous, can be temperature-played, durable.
• Stainless steel – Non-porous, heavy, firm, temperature-responsive.

AVOID these materials:

• Jelly, rubber, PVC – Porous (harbor bacteria even after cleaning).
• TPE/TPR – Semi-porous, may contain phthalates.
• Anything labeled "for novelty use only" – Not body-safe.

Base Type

Important: NEVER use a dildo without a flared base anally. It can get stuck and require medical removal.

Flexibility

• Firm dildos – Better for G-spot/P-spot targeting, easier insertion.
• Flexible dildos – More comfortable for some, adapts to body curves.

Recommendation: Start with medium firmness for versatility.

Explore beginner-friendly options at Jissbon for body-safe materials.

Step-by-Step: How to Use a Dildo for the First Time

Follow these steps for safe, comfortable dildo usage:

Step 1: Prepare Your Dildo

Before first use:

1. Wash thoroughly – Use mild soap and warm water or toy cleaner.
2. Inspect for defects – Check for seams, rough spots, or damage.
3. Gather supplies – Dildo, water-based lubricant, towel, tissues.

Step 2: Set the Mood

Create a comfortable, private environment:

• Privacy – Lock doors, ensure you won't be interrupted.
• Comfort – Use your bed, bath, or anywhere you can relax.
• Relaxation – Watch/read erotica, take a warm bath, or simply breathe deeply.

Step 3: Start with Arousal (VERY Important)

Don't go straight to penetration. Build arousal first:

• Use your hands – Touch breasts, thighs, genitals.
• Use the dildo externally – Rub it along inner thighs, vulva, or perineum.
• Focus on the clitoris – Most people with vulvas need clitoral stimulation for pleasure.

Why this matters: Arousal increases natural lubrication and relaxes muscles, making insertion easier and more comfortable.

Step 4: Apply Generous Lubricant

Even if you're aroused, add lube:

• Apply lube to the entire dildo.
• Apply lube to your vaginal or anal opening.
• Reapply every 10–15 minutes during use.

Important: The anus doesn't self-lubricate. Use GENEROUS amounts for anal play.

Step 5: Insert Slowly

For vaginal use:

1. Lie on your back with knees bent, feet flat.
2. Gently press the dildo tip against your vaginal opening.
3. Slowly insert 1–2 inches, then pause.
4. Breathe deeply and relax your muscles.
5. Gradually insert more as comfortable.

For anal use:

1. Empty your bowels beforehand.
2. Start with a finger to warm up.
3. Apply EXTRA lube to dildo and anus.
4. Press dildo tip gently against opening.
5. Push slightly outward (like having a bowel movement) while inserting—this relaxes the sphincter.
6. Go VERY slowly. Pause frequently.

Step 6: Explore Angles & Movement

Once inserted comfortably:

• In and out – Slow thrusting motions.
• Rocking – Angle the dildo to target G-spot (front vaginal wall) or P-spot (toward belly button in anus).
• Circles – Move the base in small circles.
• Hold still – Sometimes just feeling full is pleasurable.

Finding the G-spot:

• Insert 2–3 inches.
• Angle toward your belly button.
• Feel for a spongy, ridged area.
• Apply gentle pressure.

Step 7: Take Breaks & Listen to Your Body

Stop immediately if you feel:

• Sharp pain (different from pressure or stretching).
• Burning or stinging.
• Numbness or tingling.
• Dizziness.

These are normal:

• Mild pressure or fullness.
• Need to adjust angle.
• Needing more lube.

Best Dildo Positions for Beginners

Position affects comfort and sensation. Try these:

On Your Back, Knees Bent

How: Lie flat, knees bent, feet on bed.

Why: Most relaxed position, easiest angle, hands-free if using suction cup.

Tip: Place pillow under hips for better angle.

On Your Side

How: Lie on your side with top leg bent.

Why: Comfortable, easy access, relaxing.

Tip: Great for longer sessions without arm fatigue.

Doggy Style (Hands and Knees)

How: On hands and knees, insert from behind.

Why: Deep penetration, gravity assists, can use suction cup hands-free.

Tip: Lower to forearms for different angle.

Squatting Over Suction Cup

How: Stick suction cup to floor/chair, squat over it.

Why: Hands-free, control depth completely, gravity helps.

Tip: Hold onto something for balance.

Standing in Shower

How: Stick suction cup to wall at appropriate height.

Why: Easy cleanup, warm water relaxes muscles.

Tip: Use waterproof lube (silicone-based) for shower play.

Explore versatile options at G-spot vibrators for curved designs.

Lubricant Guide for Dildo Use

Lube isn't optional—it's essential for comfortable dildo usage.

Water-Based Lubricant

Pros:

• Safe with all materials (silicone, glass, steel).
• Easy to clean.
• Won't stain sheets.

Cons:

• Dries out faster (reapply frequently).
• Can feel sticky if low quality.

Best for: Silicone dildos, daily use, beginners.

Silicone-Based Lubricant

Pros:

• Lasts much longer.
• Silky, luxurious feel.
• Great for shower/bath use.

Cons:

• Can degrade silicone toys over time.
• Harder to wash off.
• May stain fabric.

Best for: Glass or metal dildos only. Do NOT use with silicone toys unless manufacturer specifically approves.

Hybrid Lubricants

What: Mix of water and silicone.

Pros: Longer-lasting than water-based, safer for silicone toys than pure silicone lube.

Best for: Extended sessions with silicone dildos.

How Much Lube to Use

Vaginal use: Generous coating on dildo + some on vulva.

Anal use: VERY generous on dildo + inside anus. The anus doesn't self-lubricate, so use 2–3x more lube than you think you need.

Cleaning & Storing Your Dildo

Proper care prevents infection and extends toy lifespan.

After Each Use

For all dildos:

1. Rinse immediately – Warm water removes most residue.
2. Wash with soap – Mild, unscented soap or dedicated toy cleaner.
3. Scrub thoroughly – Pay attention to texture and crevices.
4. Rinse completely – Soap residue causes irritation.
5. Dry fully – Air dry or pat with lint-free towel.

Deep Cleaning (Weekly or as Needed)

Silicone dildos (no electronics):

• Boil for 3–5 minutes.
• Or use 10% bleach solution (1 part bleach, 9 parts water), soak 10 minutes, rinse thoroughly.

Glass/steel dildos:

• Boil for 5 minutes.
• Or put in dishwasher (top rack, no detergent).

Storage

• Keep in breathable pouch – Not sealed plastic bag (traps moisture).
• Store separately – Silicone toys can react with each other or other materials.
• Away from sunlight – UV degrades materials.
• Cool, dry place – Avoid extreme temperatures.

Using Condoms for Easy Cleanup

Putting a condom over your dildo:

• Makes cleanup faster.
• Allows you to switch between vaginal and anal use safely.
• Protects porous materials (though you should still buy body-safe toys).

Common Dildo Use Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)

Starting Too Big

Mistake: Buying a large dildo for your first toy.

Solution: Start with 1–1.25 inches diameter. You can always size up later.

Not Using Enough Lube

Mistake: Thinking natural lubrication is sufficient.

Solution: Always add lubricant, even if aroused. Reapply frequently.

Skipping Warm-Up

Mistake: Attempting penetration before arousal.

Solution: Spend 10–15 minutes on external stimulation and arousal first.

Using Porous Materials

Mistake: Buying cheap jelly or rubber dildos.

Solution: Invest in body-safe silicone, glass, or steel. They last longer and are safer.

Forcing It

Mistake: Pushing through pain or discomfort.

Solution: If it hurts, stop. Add more lube, adjust angle, or try a smaller size.

Not Cleaning Properly

Mistake: Quick rinse only.

Solution: Wash with soap and water after EVERY use. Bacteria multiply quickly.

Discover safe, beginner-friendly designs with a G-spot dildo.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you use a dildo for the first time?

Start by choosing a small, body-safe dildo (1–1.25 inches diameter). Wash it thoroughly, then create a comfortable, private space. Become aroused through external stimulation, apply generous water-based lubricant to both the dildo and yourself, then insert slowly—1–2 inches at a time, pausing to breathe and relax.

Are dildos safe to use?

Yes, when made from body-safe, non-porous materials like medical-grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Avoid porous materials like jelly, rubber, or PVC, which harbor bacteria. Always clean before and after use, use plenty of lubricant, and listen to your body's signals.

What's the best lubricant for dildo use?

Water-based lubricant is best for silicone dildos and safest for beginners. It's compatible with all toy materials, easy to clean, and won't stain. Silicone-based lube lasts longer but can degrade silicone toys—use only with glass or metal dildos.

How do you clean a dildo properly?

Wash immediately after each use with mild, unscented soap and warm water. Scrub all surfaces thoroughly, rinse completely, and dry fully before storing. For deep cleaning, boil non-electric silicone, glass, or steel dildos for 3–5 minutes weekly.

Can you use a dildo anally?

Only if it has a flared base or handle. Without this, the dildo can get pulled inside the rectum and require medical removal. Use significantly more lubricant for anal play (the anus doesn't self-lubricate), go very slowly, and never use a dildo anally that doesn't have a retrieval feature.

What size dildo should beginners use?

Beginners should start with 4–6 inches insertable length and 1–1.25 inches in diameter (about finger-width to slightly thicker). Remember, you don't need to use the entire length. You can always size up later once comfortable.

Conclusion

Learning how to use a dildo safely and comfortably opens up new dimensions of pleasure and self-exploration. By choosing body-safe materials, using generous lubrication, starting slowly, and listening to your body, you'll build confidence and discover what brings you satisfaction.

Ready to explore? Discover our curated collection of sex toys for women designed for comfortable, pleasurable use.