How Do You Use a Dildo? Beginner’s Easy Guide

If you’re asking how do you use a dildo, you probably want clear, judgment‑free guidance that feels human, not clinical. This beginner‑first guide covers everything: how to use a dildo safely, how to insert dildo comfortably, how to angle for G‑spot or prostate, hands‑free setups, and simple aftercare. You’ll also find a short “first session” script, a troubleshooting section.

Prefer blended stimulation while you learn? A dual‑stimulation toy keeps external contact steady as you experiment with internal angles. Explore rabbit vibrators or peek at a flexible option like Miss Hearts to pair internal rocking with consistent clitoral contact.

Safety & comfort, in plain language (read this first)

“Proper” use is about comfort, cleanliness, and control—not gymnastics.

• Choose body‑safe, nonporous materials. Silicone, glass, stainless steel, and ABS are easy to wash thoroughly and recommended for beginners. Nonporous toys clean with warm water and mild soap; motorless silicone/glass/steel can often be boiled (check your brand instructions).
• For anal play, a flared base is non‑negotiable. The rectum can draw objects inward; a base prevents loss and ER visits. Health educators call this the #1 rule for anal toys. 
• Match lube to your setup. Water‑ or silicone‑based lube reduces friction and makes condoms less likely to tear; don’t use oil with latex condoms (oil weakens latex). 
• Barriers help (and are easy). Condoms on toys reduce STI risk and simplify cleanup; if you switch from anal to vaginal, change to a fresh condom or wash first. 
• Start small and go slow. Beginner guides consistently highlight gentle pacing and smaller sizes as the fastest route to enjoyable sessions.

What you need (simple kit)

1. A smooth, beginner‑friendly toy sized for comfort today
2. Water‑based lube (universal and condom‑friendly; silicone lube lasts longer but may not pair with all silicone toys)
3. Optional condoms for hygiene or sharing; tissues/towel
4. A small external vibrator (optional) for blended stimulation

Step‑by‑step: how to use a dildo properly (solo or partnered)

1) Warm up your body (2–3 minutes)

Before inserting dildo, build arousal: slow strokes along thighs, belly, and outer genitals; relaxed breathing. Arousal helps the pelvic floor release and makes insertion easier (a consistent tip across beginner guides).

2) Lube generously

Coat the toy and your entrance. Reapply as needed. If you’ll use latex condoms, stick to water‑ or silicone‑based lube (no oils). 

3) Pick an easy position

• On your back with a pillow under hips (great visibility and angle control)
• Side‑lying (very relaxed; ideal for first time using dildo)
• Standing with one foot up (on a low step) for angle control

4) How to insert dildo (without tension)

Place the tip at the entrance. Exhale and apply gentle, steady pressure. Pause at resistance; let muscles soften before going deeper. This “slow and breathe” approach is the backbone of beginner step‑by‑steps.

5) Find your angle (small moves > big thrusts)

• For G‑spot (front vaginal wall), tilt the tip toward your belly and use a short “come‑hither” motion or shallow rocking. Many people find this more effective than straight in‑and‑out. 
• For prostate (if you’re exploring how to properly use dildo as a male), angle toward the navel on the front rectal wall with a gentle come‑hither pressure. Use a toy with a flared base and extra lube.

6) Build rhythm gradually

Start with tiny rocks or circles; deepen or speed up only if your body wants it. If anything feels sharp or pinchy, slow down, add lube, or switch angles.

7) Optional: suction‑cup and hands‑free

If your toy has a suction base, mount it on a clean, smooth surface (e.g., tile, acrylic), test at low speed, and start shallow. Then grind or rock while the toy provides steady motion.

Using a dildo for the first time: a 10‑minute starter path

If you’re using a dildo for the first time, try this small, confidence‑building sequence:

1. 1 min: Breathe slowly; touch thighs, belly, outer genitals.
2. 1 min: Add water‑based lube to yourself and the toy.
3. 2–3 min: Insert on an exhale, pause at the widest part, and let muscles soften. 
4. 2–3 min: Keep motion shallow and angle forward; use a come‑hither rock for G‑spot, or toward your navel for the prostate. 
5. 2–3 min: Add external stimulation (fingers or a small vibe) and let the sensations stack. 

Angles & techniques: different ways to use a dildo

• Shallow rock for G‑spot: Seat the widest part just inside, then rock or make tiny circles—many people climax faster this way than with deep thrusts.
• Insert‑and‑hold + clitoral focus: Keep the toy still and finish with steady external contact; this reduces effort and increases consistency.
• Grinding finish: Partially insert, then grind into a cushion or your palm; small pelvic tilts can feel powerful.
• Temperature play (advanced): Nonporous glass/steel can be warmed in water or cooled briefly in the fridge. Always test on your wrist first and avoid sudden temperature swings.
• Suction‑cup wall or chair ride: Hands‑free lets you focus on angle and breath. Test the seal; use a non‑slip mat if you’re in the shower.

If you prefer blended internal‑external stimulation from the start, a rabbit design keeps clitoral contact steady while you experiment with internal angles—browse rabbit vibrators.

How to properly use dildo as a male (P‑spot basics)

For prostate owners, “proper” is all about safety and angle:

• Use only anal‑safe, flared‑base toys; the base keeps the toy anchored outside. 
• Use more lube than you think you need (the anus doesn’t self‑lubricate).
• Insert slowly and angle toward the navel (front rectal wall); a come‑hither motion is typically more effective than fast thrusts.
• Keep strokes short at first; tiny pelvic tilts often feel strongest.
• Consider condoms on toys and change condoms if you later switch to vaginal play (or wash thoroughly) to reduce bacterial transfer.

When you’re comfortable and want targeted, hands‑free pressure, explore compact anal toys that stimulate both prostate and perineum to hold the angle for you.

Partnered play: communication makes it hotter (and safer)

• Agree on a check‑in (e.g., “How’s this?” or a simple green/yellow/red).
• The receiver guides depth and angle by holding the base; the giver maintains a steady rhythm.
• If you use condoms on toys, they reduce STI risk and make cleanup easier; put on a fresh condom when switching partners or switching from anal to vaginal play. 

Cleaning & care (non‑negotiable, but easy)

• Before and after: Wash nonporous toys with warm water + fragrance‑free soap, then air‑dry. For silicone/glass/steel without motors, boiling is often allowed—check your manual. 
• Porous vs nonporous: Nonporous materials (silicone, ABS, stainless steel, glass) are preferred because they’re easier to disinfect thoroughly. 
• Sharing & switching: Use condoms on toys or wash between partners/acts; change to a new condom when moving anal → vaginal. 
• Storage: Let toys dry fully and store in a lint‑free pouch away from heat/sun.

Common mistakes (and quick fixes)

• Not enough lube. Solution: reapply often; lube lowers friction and helps prevent micro‑tears and condom breaks.
• Forcing past resistance. Breathe, pause at the widest part, and add more lube; pain is your cue to slow down. 
• Skipping the flared base for anal. Only use anal‑safe toys with a flared base.
• Re‑using the same condom from anal to vaginal. Switch to a fresh condom (or wash thoroughly) to avoid bacterial transfer.
• Forgetting to clean nonporous toys. Wash after every use and let dry fully. 

Your first session (copy‑and‑try plan)

1. Set the scene (lighting, towel, lube).
2. Warm up outside the body for 2–3 minutes.
3. Add plenty of water‑based lube to you and the toy.
4. Insert on an exhale, pause at resistance, then seat the toy comfortably.
5. Angle for G‑spot (forward tilt) or prostate (toward navel) with a short come‑hither motion. 
6. Keep motion shallow; add external stimulation to finish.
7. Clean the toy and let it dry fully. 

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you use a dildo for the first time without pain?

Warm up externally, use lots of lube, insert slowly on an exhale, and keep motion shallow at first. Pain is a cue to stop, add lube, change angles, or size down.

What’s the right size for beginners?

Start small and smooth, then size up as your body adapts. Smaller toys and slower pacing are the quickest route to confidence and pleasure. 

How do I angle for G‑spot stimulation?

Tilt the toy toward your belly and use a come‑hither rock or shallow press‑and‑pause instead of fast thrusts.

How do I angle for prostate stimulation?

Use a flared‑base toy, plenty of lube, and aim the tip toward your belly button (front rectal wall) with a gentle come‑hither motion. 

Do I need condoms on toys?

Condoms reduce STI risk and make cleanup easier. If you switch from anal to vaginal, change to a fresh condom or wash thoroughly first.

How do I clean a dildo properly?

For nonporous toys (silicone, glass, steel, ABS): warm water + mild soap, then air‑dry. Follow the manual for motorized toys; some motorless nonporous toys can be boiled briefly. 

Is there a difference between “how to use a dildo” and “how to insert dildo”?

“Inserting” focuses on slow entry, lube, and relaxation. “Using” adds angles, rhythm, suction‑cup setups, and paired play. Both matter for comfort and pleasure. 

Final gentle takeaways

• How to use a dildo properly = small size, lots of lube, slow insertion, and smart angles.
• G‑spot likes a forward tilt and come‑hither rock; prostate prefers a toward‑the‑navel angle with short strokes. 
• Safety is simple: nonporous materials, clean before/after, condoms when sharing, and flared bases for any anal use.
• Add external touch, breathe, and let your body set the pace. The best technique is the one that feels good today.