How to Properly Use a Dildo: Beginner’s Step-by-Step Guide

New to toys and wondering how to properly use a dildo—without stress, discomfort, or confusion? You’re in the right place. This calm, practical guide walks you through using a dildo for the first time, from prep and insertion to angles, rhythms, and aftercare. You’ll also find tips on how to properly use dildo as a male (prostate basics), hands‑free suction‑cup setups, partner ideas, and a quick troubleshooting section—plus answers to the most common “People Also Ask” questions.

Prefer blended stimulation while you learn? Explore a curated range of rabbit vibrators or try a soft, flexible dual‑stimulation option such as Miss Hearts to keep external contact steady as you experiment with motion and angles.

What “properly” really means (and why it matters)

“Proper” use isn’t about a single perfect technique—it’s about comfort, safety, and control:

• Comfort: enough lube, a size and shape that match your body today, and relaxed pacing. Using store‑bought lube with condoms correctly helps protect comfort and reduce breakage; oil‑based lubes can weaken latex, so pair latex with water‑ or silicone‑based options.
• Safety: nonporous materials are easier to clean (silicone, glass, stainless steel, ABS), and if you’re exploring anal, a flared base is non‑negotiable to prevent the toy being pulled inside. 
• Control: start slow, test angles, and build rhythm gradually. Beginner how‑tos consistently highlight prep, lube, and gentle insertion as the foundation.

What you’ll need (simple kit)

• A smooth, body‑safe toy sized for beginners
• Water‑based lube (universal and condom‑friendly; silicone lube lasts longer but may not suit all silicone toys) 
• Towel (and a pillow if you like hip support)
• Optional: condom for easier cleanup or sharing; a small external vibrator for blended pleasure 

Step‑by‑step: how to properly use a dildo (solo or partnered)

1) Warm up (2–3 minutes)

Touch before you insert. Massage thighs, hips, belly, and outer genitals; slow breathing helps the pelvic floor release. Arousal is the easiest path to comfortable entry. (Beginner guides emphasize relaxation and arousal before insertion.)

2) Lube generously

Coat the toy and yourself. Reapply as needed. If you’re using latex condoms, avoid oil‑based lubes; choose water‑ or silicone‑based.

3) Pick an easy position

• On your back with a pillow under hips: great visibility and angle control.
• Side‑lying: very relaxed; ideal for first‑time nerves.
• Standing, one foot up (on a low step): easy to guide the angle.

4) Inserting dildo comfortably

Set the tip at the entrance, press gently on an exhale, and pause when you meet resistance. Let muscles soften around the toy before going deeper—this “slow and breathe” approach is standard in step‑by‑step beginner guides.

5) Find your angle

• G‑spot (front vaginal wall): tilt the tip toward your belly and use a short “come‑hither” motion or shallow rocking rather than fast thrusts.
• Perineum/clitoral pairing: many people climax faster by pairing shallow internal motion with steady external touch.

6) Build rhythm (small first, then more)

Start with tiny rocks or circles; add depth or speed only if your body asks for it. If anything feels sharp or pinchy, slow down, add lube, or try a smaller toy.

7) Optional: vibration or suction‑cup hands‑free

Turn vibration on later in the session; let the motor do the work while you grind or rock. For suction‑cup toys, mount to a smooth, clean surface (tile, acrylic, sealed wood) and test the seal at low speed before riding. (Hands‑free setups are common recommendations in retailer and how‑to guides.)

Using a dildo for the first time (quick starter path)

• Choose a small, smooth toy and plenty of water‑based lube.
• Warm up externally; insert on an exhale.
• For G‑spot, angle forward and rock; for prostate, angle toward the navel with a gentle come‑hither motion.
• Keep motion shallow at first; add external stimulation.
• Stop if it hurts; pain is a cue to slow down, add lube, or size down.

How to properly use dildo as a male (P‑spot basics)

If you’re exploring anal or prostate play, these tweaks help:

• Flared base only. The rectum can “pull” objects inward, so never insert toys without a flared base. 
• Even more lube. The anus doesn’t self‑lubricate—use generous lube and reapply often. 
• Angle toward the belly button. The prostate sits along the front wall; a slow come‑hither pressure is usually more effective than fast thrusting.
• Start small and shallow. Let your body adapt; tiny pelvic tilts can feel powerful.
• Barriers & hygiene. Consider condoms on toys, and change to a fresh condom (or wash) if you move from anal to vaginal play to reduce bacterial transfer.

When you’ve learned the angle and want targeted, hands‑free pressure, a compact dual‑arm prostate design can hold position while you focus on breath and rhythm—see the Anal Vibrators collection or a P‑spot + perineum option like the E‑Bass Rocker Remote Dual Prostate Massager.

Different ways to use a dildo (beyond basic thrusting)

• Shallow rock for G‑spot: seat the widest part just inside, then rock rather than pump. 
• Insert‑and‑hold: keep the toy still and use external stimulation to finish. 
• Grinding finish: partially insert, then grind into a cushion or your hand.
• Temperature play (advanced): glass or steel can be warmed in water or cooled briefly in the fridge—always test on your wrist first. 
• Partner coaching: the receiver guides the base (angle, depth) while the giver keeps a steady rhythm—great for learning comfort ranges.
• Harness play: if you add a harness, start with smaller sizes and lots of lube; communication and pacing are everything. 

Cleaning & care (non‑negotiable, but easy)

• Before and after: Wash with warm water + fragrance‑free soap (or a toy cleaner) and let air‑dry fully. 100% silicone, glass, and stainless steel are straightforward to clean; non‑motorized versions of those materials can even be boiled if the brand says it’s safe.
• Motorized toys: don’t boil; follow the manual.
• Sharing & switching orifices: use condoms or wash thoroughly, and switch to a fresh condom when moving from anal to vaginal contact. 
• Storage: store dry in a lint‑free pouch away from heat/sun.

Troubleshooting (quick fixes)

• Dryness / drag: add more lube; switch from thrusting to rocking; slow down.Uncomfortable pressure: reduce depth and change angle (forward tilt for G‑spot; toward the navel for prostate). 
• First‑time nerves: try side‑lying with slow breathing; keep motion tiny.
• Anal discomfort: downsize, add more lube, and confirm you’re using a flared‑base toy. 
• Cleaning confusion: stick to warm water + mild soap for nonporous toys; check the manual for anything motorized. 

Mini‑guide: suction‑cup setups (hands‑free fun)

• Tile wall or shower (with a non‑slip mat): set at hip height, back onto it slowly, and start shallow.
• Chair seat or smooth bench: brace hands on the backrest; grind at your pace.
• Floor + cushion: kneel on a folded towel for comfort; let the toy move while you rock.
  

These are common, beginner‑friendly ways to get a “dildo that moves while you control angle and rhythm” experience without juggling the base.

Partnered play (keep it tender, keep it clear)

• Agree on a simple check‑in (“How’s this?” or a color system: green/yellow/red).
• The receiver sets limits on depth and tempo; the giver handles consistency.
• If switching from anal to vaginal, change condoms (or wash toys) first.

Product‑light suggestions (optional)

• For steady clitoral contact while you learn angles and rhythm, browse rabbit vibrators. A flexible option like Miss Hearts can keep external stimulation consistent while you experiment with shallow rocking and press‑and‑pause techniques.

Frequently Asked Questions

What’s the right size for first time using dildo?

Start small and smooth. You can always size up later as your body adapts. Comfort and control beat “more” every time. (Beginner guides emphasize sizing down for confidence.)

How do you use a dildo properly without pain?

Warm up, use lots of lube, insert slowly on an exhale, and start with shallow motion. Pain is a cue to stop, add lube, or size down. 

How to insert dildo for G‑spot stimulation?

Angle the tip toward your belly and use a come‑hither or rocking motion rather than fast thrusts.

How to properly use dildo as a male for prostate play?

Use a flared‑base toy, lots of lube, and angle toward the navel with gentle come‑hither pressure on the front wall of the rectum.

Do I need a condom on toys?

Condoms help with hygiene and reduce STI risk—especially if sharing or switching orifices—and are easier to clean up afterward. Oil‑based lubes weaken latex, so pair latex with water‑ or silicone‑based lubes.

How do I clean toys properly?

For nonporous toys (silicone, glass, stainless steel), use warm water + mild soap (or a toy cleaner) and air‑dry. Don’t boil motorized toys; follow the manual.

Is there a “right” speed or thrust pattern?

No single right answer—start slow, use shallow motion, and let your body guide you. Add vibration or deeper thrusts later if it feels good.

Final gentle takeaways

• How to properly use a dildo = size that suits today’s body, lots of lube, slow insertion, and smart angles.
• G‑spot loves forward tilt and rocking; prostate likes a toward‑the‑navel, come‑hither angle.
• Safety is simple: nonporous materials, clean before/after, and flared bases for anal play.
• When you want blended stimulation with less effort, a rabbit‑style toy can keep external contact steady while you experiment internally—see the rabbit vibrators collection for ideas.