What Is the Average Age to Start Having Sex? Facts & Guidance

Instead of comparing yourself to statistics, ask yourself these questions:

Emotional readiness:

• Am I doing this because I want to, or to please someone else?
• Can I handle rejection, jealousy, or relationship changes afterward?
• Will I be okay emotionally if this relationship ends?
• Am I comfortable with my body and sexuality?

Practical readiness:

• Do I know how to get and use contraception?
• Can I afford condoms, birth control, or STI testing?
• Do I have a private, safe place?
• What would I do if I got pregnant or got someone pregnant?

Relationship readiness:

• Have my partner and I discussed boundaries, expectations, and protection?
• Do we trust each other completely?
• Can I talk to my partner about anything without fear?
• Does my partner respect my "no" without pressure?

If you answered "no" or "I'm not sure" to several questions, you're probably not ready yet.

What About Younger Ages? Understanding Normal Development

Parents and young people often have questions about appropriate sexual behavior at different ages:

Is sexual curiosity normal in children?

Yes—exploration of one's own body is a normal part of development:

• Ages 2-5: Self-touching and curiosity about bodies is normal and innocent
• Ages 6-9: Awareness of privacy, less public touching, questions about reproduction
• Ages 10-12: Puberty begins, masturbation becomes more common, interest in relationships

This is NOT the same as being "sexually active" with partners, which involves emotional and physical readiness that doesn't develop until later teen years at earliest.

When is it concerning?

Contact a pediatrician if a child:

• Displays sexual knowledge beyond their age
• Tries to engage other children sexually
• Shows compulsive sexual behavior
• Has been exposed to adult content repeatedly

Understanding child development and sexuality helps distinguish normal curiosity from concerning behavior.

Important for teens under 16:

Even if you feel ready, most places have age of consent laws (usually 16-18 years old) that exist to protect young people from exploitation. Having sex before legal age can have serious consequences for both people involved.

Safe Sex Basics: What You MUST Know Before Having Sex

If you decide you're ready, safety is non-negotiable:

Contraception options:

Golden rule: Use condoms EVERY time, even with other birth control, to prevent STIs.

STI prevention:

• Get tested regularly (both partners before having sex)
• Use condoms consistently and correctly
• Limit number of sexual partners
• Communicate openly about sexual history
• Watch for symptoms (unusual discharge, sores, pain)

Where to get help:

• Planned Parenthood (free/low-cost services)
• School health clinics
• Family doctor or pediatrician
• Local health department

Browse intimate wellness products designed with safety and comfort in mind.

Why Waiting Often Leads to Better Experiences

Research consistently shows people who wait longer report:

✓ Less regret about their first time
✓ More emotional satisfaction with the experience
✓ Better communication with partners
✓ Safer practices (more likely to use protection)
✓ Fewer negative emotional consequences
✓ More stable relationships when they do have sex

What people who started early often say:

• "I wish I'd waited until I was more mature"
• "I felt pressured and didn't really want to"
• "I didn't know how to communicate what I wanted"
• "I wasn't prepared for the emotional aftermath"
• "I didn't use protection properly"

What people who waited longer often say:

• "I'm glad I waited until I was truly ready"
• "I knew how to protect myself"
• "I could communicate openly with my partner"
• "I had fewer regrets and more confidence"
• "The emotional connection made it better"

Talking to Your Partner About Sex

Before having sex, you MUST be able to discuss:

Topics to cover:

• Consent: Ongoing agreement, ability to say no anytime
• Protection: Condoms, birth control, STI testing
• Boundaries: What you're comfortable with, what you're not
• Expectations: Is this a relationship or casual? What happens after?
• Communication during: How to say if something doesn't feel good

Practice saying:

• "I want to use a condom every time"
• "I'm not ready for that yet"
• "Can we slow down?"
• "Have you been tested for STIs?"
• "What are we to each other?"

If you can't have these conversations comfortably, you're not ready for sex with that person.

Explore relationship communication resources for more guidance.

What Parents Should Know

If you're a parent concerned about your teen:

Normal ages for sexual development:

• First crushes and romantic feelings: 10-13
• Interest in dating: 13-16
• Possibility of sexual activity: 16+

How to talk to your teen:

✓ Start conversations early (before they're sexually active)
✓ Be open and non-judgmental
✓ Provide accurate information about protection and consent
✓ Discuss your family values without shaming
✓ Make yourself available for questions
✓ Know that talking about sex doesn't encourage it

What NOT to do:

Shame or scare tactics
Assume they're not thinking about sex
Wait until it's "too late" to talk
Avoid the topic because it's uncomfortable

Frequently Asked Questions 

What is the most common age to lose virginity?

The average age in the United States is 17 years old, but this varies widely. About 40-60% of teens become sexually active between 16-18, while many others wait until their 20s or later. There's no "normal" that applies to everyone—readiness depends on emotional maturity and personal circumstances, not age alone.

Is 14 too young to be sexually active?

Most health experts and psychologists agree that 14 is quite young for sexual activity. At this age, most people aren't emotionally mature enough to handle potential consequences, may not have access to proper protection, and are more likely to report regret later. Most who started at 14 wish they'd waited longer.

Is it weird to be a virgin in your 20s?

Not at all—about 10-15% of people wait until their 20s or beyond to have sex. Many people prioritize education, career, finding the right person, or personal values over having sex young. Waiting often leads to more positive first experiences because of greater emotional maturity and better communication skills.

How do I know if I'm ready for sex?

You're ready when you can confidently say yes to: feeling no pressure, trusting your partner completely, knowing how to use protection, being able to communicate openly about boundaries, and understanding potential consequences. If you're asking this question, you might not be ready yet—and that's okay.

Conclusion

The average age to start having sex is around 17 in the U.S., but "average" doesn't mean "right for you." True readiness depends on emotional maturity, relationship trust, safety knowledge, and personal values—not comparing yourself to statistics. Take your time, communicate openly, and prioritize safety when you do decide you're ready.

Interested in learning more about sexual wellness and safety? Explore educational resources and body-safe intimate products designed for comfort and confidence.