Ways to Use a Dildo: Beginner & Advanced Pleasure Tips

Whether you’re using a dildo for the first time or you want fresh techniques, this guide walks you through the safest, most satisfying ways to use a dildo—from gentle, beginner steps to creative, hands‑free setups and partner play. You’ll learn how to insert dildo comfortably, different ways to use a dildo (including ways to use a suction cup dildo), how to angle for G‑spot or prostate, and how to clean up the right way.

First things first: safety & comfort (read this before play)

• Lube is essential. Dildos feel best—and are safer—when you use plenty of lube. (If you’ll use condoms, stick to water‑ or silicone‑based lube; avoid oils on latex.)
• Choose body‑safe, easy‑to‑clean materials. Silicone, glass, and stainless steel clean well with mild soap and water (motorized toys: don’t boil).
• Anal? Use a flared base. For anal play, only insert toys with a flared base so they cannot get pulled inside. That’s the gold‑standard rule for butt‑safe toys.
• Hands‑free suction cup? Mount to a smooth, clean surface (tile, acrylic, sealed wood) for stability. Major retailer guides suggest tiled walls or other truly smooth surfaces for best grip.

The calm prep routine (your “dildo step‑by‑step”)

If you’re using a dildo for the first time, take a breath and go slow. Here’s a gentle dildo step sequence that works for most bodies:

1) Set the mood: lower lights, music, towel nearby, lube within reach.

2) Warm up externally: caress thighs, belly, and outer genitals; slow breathing cues pelvic muscles to relax.

3) Lube generously: coat the toy and yourself. Re‑apply often.

4) Pick an easy position:

• On your back with a pillow under hips (great visibility).
• Side‑lying (very relaxed).
• Standing with one foot on a step (angle control).

5) How to insert dildo comfortably: touch the tip to the entrance, press gently on an exhale, and pause when you feel resistance. Let muscles soften before going deeper. (Competitor how‑tos and medical‑style guides agree that slowing down, breathing, and using lube are key.)

6) Find your angle: small wrist or pelvis tilts can completely change sensation—see G‑spot and prostate tips below.

Ways to use a dildo for vulva owners (beginner → advanced)

1) Rock for G‑spot (beginner‑friendly)

Instead of fast in‑out thrusts, try shallow rocking so the shaft rubs the front vaginal wall (toward the belly). This back‑and‑forth motion is often more effective for the G‑spot than straight thrusting.

How‑to: Insert 1–2 inches, angle the tip slightly forward, then rock or make small circles; add external touch (fingers or a vibe) to keep clitoral stimulation constant.

2) The “press & pause” method

Seat the widest part just inside, pause, and make small pelvic tilts while the toy stays nearly still. Great for building arousal without friction.

3) Slide‑and‑grind (solo or partnered)

With a toy partly inserted, grind your pelvis into a pillow, the mattress, or your hand. The shallow angle can feel intense on the G‑spot—especially with a curved toy.

4) Temperature play (advanced but simple)

Glass/metal toys can be cooled in the fridge for a few minutes or warmed in water (test on your wrist first). The temperature contrast heightens sensation without more speed or depth.

5) Rabbit pairing (blended stimulation)

If penetration alone doesn’t tip you over the edge, pair light thrusts with a clitoral arm. That’s the idea behind rabbits—steady external buzz with internal motion. Browse rabbit vibrators or try a soft, flexible pick like Miss Hearts.

Ways to use a suction cup dildo (hands‑free fun)

Suction cup dildos free your hands for clitoral touch, nipple play, or a vibe. Try these ways to use a suction cup dildo:

• Tiled wall (standing or squatting): mount at hip height, back onto it slowly. Retailer guides specifically recommend tiled walls for reliable suction.
• Chair seat (straddle): stick to a smooth chair or bench; brace hands on the backrest and ride at your pace.
• Floor with cushion: mount to a clean hardwood/laminate tile; kneel on a folded towel for comfort.
• Shower (with a non‑slip mat): keep water low and reapply lube—water rinses lube away.

Pro tip: Start with shallow squats and slow rocks. Deep knee bends can allow very deep insertion—great once you’re warmed up, overwhelming if you rush.

Ways to use a dildo for prostate pleasure (P‑spot basics)

If your goal is prostate stimulation, think front wall of the rectum (toward the belly). Insert slowly with plenty of lube and angle toward the navel; a gentle “come‑hither” motion often hits the spot.

Important safety for anal play:

• Only use toys with a flared base (butt‑safe).
• Add even more lube than you think you need.
• Keep strokes shallow at first and check in with your body (or partner).

Different ways to use a dildo with a partner

1) Strap‑on (pegging or vulva‑to‑vulva play)

A standard dildo in a compatible harness lets one partner thrust while the other receives—front or rear entry. Start with smaller sizes and lots of lube; swap condoms or clean before changing orifices. (Beginner strap‑on guides: fit, angle, and pacing matter most.)

2) Face‑to‑face coaching

Let the receiver guide the base with their hand (angle, pace, depth) while the giver keeps a steady rhythm. Great for learning comfort ranges.

3) Double‑ended or DP illusions (advanced)

Double‑ended dildos can enable mutual penetration (vulva‑to‑vulva) or “two‑at‑once” sensations with a toy + fingers. Start very slow; agree on hand signals and safewords if you’re experimenting.

15 Practical Ways to Use a Dildo (Mix & Match)

1) Shallow rock for G-spot
Instead of thrusting deep, insert just 1–2 inches and gently rock the toy back and forth so it rubs the front vaginal wall. This light pressure is often more effective for the G-spot than fast in-out strokes.

2) Edge-of-bed tilt
Lie on your back with your hips on a pillow at the edge of the bed. This angle makes insertion smoother and lets you control depth with your legs. Perfect if you want hands-free clitoral stimulation at the same time.

3) Side-lying glide
Lie on your side with one knee bent and a pillow between your legs. The relaxed posture keeps muscles loose, and you can combine it with a small vibrator for dual stimulation.

4) Suction-cup wall squat
Mount a suction cup dildo on a clean, smooth wall at hip height. Squat slowly over it and use shallow movements. This setup is hands-free, letting you use your hands elsewhere.

5) Chair straddle ride
Fix the dildo on a sturdy, flat chair seat. Straddle it, brace your hands on the backrest, and use micro-thrusts or grinding to control intensity. Great for long, slow sessions.

6) Warm glass / cool metal play
Nonporous toys like glass or stainless steel can be cooled in the fridge or warmed in water. The temperature contrast heightens sensitivity and adds novelty to your play—always test on your wrist first.

7) Harness play
Place the dildo in a compatible strap-on harness. This allows one partner to thrust while the other receives, making it ideal for pegging or vulva-to-vulva positions. Start with smaller sizes and communicate about comfort.

8) Press-and-pause method
Insert the toy until the widest part is just inside, then pause. Let your body hug the toy and do small pelvic tilts. This builds arousal without the friction of fast thrusting.

9) Grinding finish
Partially insert the dildo and grind your pelvis into a pillow, mattress, or your hand. The shallow angle keeps pressure on sensitive spots, especially with curved toys.

10) Prostate “come-hither”
For prostate owners, insert a flared-base toy with plenty of lube and angle the tip toward the belly button. Use short, slow “come-hither” motions against the front rectal wall to hit the P-spot.

11) Shower wall setup
Use a suction-cup dildo on the shower wall with a non-slip mat under your feet. The warm water adds relaxation, but reapply lube often—water rinses it away.

12) Double-ended duet
A double-ended dildo allows mutual penetration (vulva-to-vulva) or the feeling of two toys at once. Keep it slow, well-lubed, and communicate hand signals or safewords if experimenting.

13) Rabbit combo
Pair a rabbit-style dildo with gentle internal rocking. The clitoral arm keeps external contact steady while you experiment with different depths inside.

14) Clitoral focus + insert-and-hold
Insert the dildo just to a comfortable depth and keep it still. Use your hands or a vibrator on the clitoris or perineum while enjoying the fullness from the plug-like hold.

15) “Dildo step” progression
If it’s your first time, progress slowly: start with a finger, then a slim toy, then gradually move to deeper angles or larger sizes. This builds confidence and keeps everything stress-free.

How to use dildo first time (quick starter path)

• Pick a small, smooth toy and water‑based lube.
• Warm up externally, then insert on an exhale.
• Rock for G‑spot or tilt toward navel for prostate.
• Keep sensations shallow and add clitoral/perineal touch—many people climax this way faster than with thrusts.
• Stop if it hurts, add more lube, or try a smaller size. (Beginner guides repeat this because it’s that important.)

Cleaning & aftercare (non‑negotiable)

Clean toys before and after use. For nonporous toys (100% silicone, glass, stainless steel), warm water + fragrance‑free soap does the job; air‑dry completely. For motorized toys, avoid boiling; follow the manufacturer’s instructions. If you’re sharing a toy or switching from anal to vaginal, wash or change condoms first to avoid transferring bacteria.

Troubleshooting (common hiccups, easy fixes)

• Dryness or drag: add more lube; slow down; try rocking instead of fast thrusts. 
• Suction cup not holding: mount on very smooth tile or acrylic; clean the surface and the cup; press firmly from the center out to expel air. (Retailer guides suggest tiled walls for best results.) 
• Uncomfortable pressure: reduce depth and change the angle. For G‑spot, think forward tilt + rocking; for prostate, tilt toward navel + gentle “come‑hither.”
• First‑time nerves: follow a slow dildo step‑by‑step routine and take breaks; shallow motion with steady external stimulation is usually the easiest path.

Frequently Asked Questions:

What are the best ways to use a dildo if I’m new?

Start with shallow rocking for G‑spot (vulva owners) or a gentle come‑hither toward the navel for prostate; keep strokes small, add lots of lube, and pair with clitoral/perineal touch.

How do you use a dildo with a suction cup safely?

Mount to a smooth, clean surface (tile, acrylic, sealed wood), test the seal, and start with shallow motion. Tiled walls are a common, reliable choice. 

How to use dildo first time without pain?

Warm up externally, use plenty of lube, insert slowly on an exhale, and stop at discomfort. Smaller toys and shallow angles are your friends.

How to insert dildo for anal play?

Only use flared‑base toys; coat with lube; insert slowly and angle toward the navel for prostate stimulation. Never force past resistance.

Can I wear a dildo in a harness (strap‑on)?

Yes—choose a compatible base and secure O‑ring; go smaller first, use lots of lube, and keep communication constant.

How do I clean a dildo?

Nonporous toys (silicone, glass, steel): soap + warm water, then air‑dry. Motorized toys: don’t boil; follow label. Clean before and after each use.

What’s the difference between “how to use a dildo” and “how to insert dildo”?

“How to use” includes arousal, angles, rhythms, suction‑cup and partner play; “how to insert” focuses on slow entry, lube, and relaxing the pelvic muscles. Both matter for comfort and pleasure.