40 Most Dominant Sex Positions for Power Play: Male & Female Dom Moves to Take Control Tonight
When it comes to sex, who’s in control can make all the difference. Dominant sex positions flip the power dynamic, allowing one partner to take the lead—physically, emotionally, and erotically. Whether you’re a woman looking to ride high with confidence, or a man ready to pin your partner with primal intent, dominance isn't about aggression—it’s about connection, trust, and thrilling control.
This guide is your roadmap to 40 of the most dominant sex positions—for every gender, body, and experience level. From queen-level face-sitting to pin-down missionary to standing power moves, we’re breaking down exactly how to execute each one, what it’s best for, and how to build the confidence to take charge.
And yes—toys can elevate the power exchange. For example, a dual-vibrating cock ring like the E‑Intense Moose gives male doms an edge in stamina and intensity, while the Heating Rabbit empowers female tops with targeted clitoral and G-spot control.
Remember: dominant play starts with consent and safety. Before trying any new dynamic, open a dialogue with your partner about boundaries, safe words, and aftercare practices. For an expert overview on safe BDSM and dominant/submissive play, visit the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom—a trusted authority in kink education.
What Is Dominant Sex?
Dominant sex refers to a dynamic where one partner takes control—physically, verbally, or emotionally—during intimacy. This control isn’t about coercion; it’s about consensual power exchange that both partners agree to and enjoy.
In dominant sexual play, the "dom" (dominant) sets the pace, positions, and sometimes even the rules of engagement. This can range from gentle guiding and instructional dirty talk to more intense acts like restraint or spanking. Many people find the clear roles and responsibilities in dominant/submissive sex to be freeing rather than restrictive.
Psychologically, dominant sex taps into deep desires around control, surrender, trust, and erotic tension. According to research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, many individuals enjoy dominant roles because it allows for a safe, creative outlet of personal expression and exploration.
If you’re new to this dynamic, know that dominance doesn’t require props, punishment, or BDSM gear—it can be as simple as eye contact, a firm voice, or confidently flipping your partner over.
Just remember: consent and communication are everything. Before taking control, discuss limits, use safe words, and agree on aftercare. For more on ethical domination and power play basics, the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is a trusted starting point.
Benefits of Exploring Dominant Positions
Trying dominant sex positions isn’t just about spicing things up—it can genuinely transform the way you connect, communicate, and experience pleasure with your partner.
First, dominance amplifies arousal. When one person leads with confidence and the other willingly surrenders, it creates an intense psychological and physical feedback loop. Studies published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior have shown that power-play dynamics often enhance orgasm quality, especially when roles are clearly defined.
Second, it builds trust and emotional intimacy. When you engage in consensual dominance, you're actively listening to your partner's cues, needs, and boundaries. That ongoing communication—before, during, and after sex—can strengthen relationships in surprising ways.
Third, dominant positions allow you to explore your fantasies in a safe and structured environment. Whether you're expressing your boldest desires or testing out a new role, power play can offer emotional release and empowerment.
And finally, for many people, being in control feels sexy. Owning your desires, taking initiative, and guiding your partner toward pleasure can boost confidence both inside and outside the bedroom.
Just remember: dominance isn’t about force—it’s about focused intention, respect, and mutual enjoyment. If you're new to it, start slow and discuss what dominance means to both of you.
Consent, Safety & Aftercare 101
Dominant sex only works when it's built on clear, enthusiastic consent. No matter how thrilling a power exchange feels, it must always be grounded in mutual trust, ongoing communication, and emotional safety.
Consent means more than just a yes—it means a shared understanding of what’s okay, what’s off-limits, and how to pause or stop at any time. Discuss your boundaries before trying dominant positions. This might include preferred roles, intensity levels, and safe words (e.g., “red” for stop, “yellow” for slow down).
Safety also means knowing your tools and techniques. Avoid rope burns, joint strain, or discomfort by using beginner-friendly accessories and understanding body mechanics. For example, never apply pressure to the neck or bind limbs too tightly. Always have safety scissors nearby when using restraints. If you're introducing toys like cock rings or vibrators, read the usage instructions carefully and prioritize body-safe materials.
Aftercare is just as essential as the act itself—especially after intense dominance play. It can involve cuddling, verbal reassurance, water, snacks, or simply checking in emotionally. Aftercare helps both partners recalibrate and reaffirm their connection, particularly if the scene included rough play or emotional intensity.
As the American Sexual Health Association reminds us, “Safe sex is not just physical—it’s emotional too.” Respect your partner’s limits, create a safe container for exploration, and always follow up with care.
Top Female Dominant Sex Positions
Women taking the lead in bed can be incredibly empowering—for both partners. These female dominant sex positions allow her to control depth, rhythm, stimulation, and emotional pacing, all while expressing sensual authority. Here are 10 powerful moves every woman should try when she’s ready to take charge.
1. Seated Straddle (Face-to-Face Dom)
This classic female-dominant position puts her on top, face-to-face with her partner. She sets the pace, maintains eye contact, and decides when to speed up or slow down. The partner beneath is pinned by her presence—and her hips. Pro tip: Use a toy like the Heating Rabbit during grinding for added clitoral and G-spot stimulation.
2. Face-Sit (Suffocation Queen)
A bold display of dominance, this position involves sitting on your partner’s face while they lie flat. She controls breath, view, and stimulation—all in one commanding move.
Always discuss limits and safe words beforehand to avoid discomfort or panic.
3. Reverse Cowgirl Grip
Turn around while on top to face away from your partner, giving full control over thrust depth and speed. The visual angle and lack of eye contact amplify the power shift.
For extra edge, grab your partner’s knees or thighs to anchor yourself.
4. Pin-Down Missionary
Yes, missionary can be dominant—when the woman’s on top, leaning down, holding wrists or pinning arms. This reversal of traditional roles is especially powerful for beginners exploring dominance.
5. Side Saddle Ride
Swing one leg over and straddle sideways across their pelvis. This gives a strong dom vibe while also stimulating new angles internally. Great for teasing and controlling movement.
Works well with discreet bullet vibrators for extra clitoral pressure.
6. Chair Domination
Have your partner sit on a sturdy chair while you mount them. Use their arms or the chair back as leverage. This upright control position adds an elegant, commanding twist.
Add lingerie or a robe for an irresistible tease-and-dominate experience.
7. Edge Control Ride
Sit your partner at the edge of the bed or couch and straddle them. Control the depth and speed with slow, teasing movements. Great for orgasm denial or edging sessions.
Pair with a remote toy to vary stimulation while maintaining visual authority.
8. Squatting Over Power
Squatting above your partner allows full downward control and intense G-spot stimulation. While physically demanding, it’s visually dominant and mentally erotic.
Combine with strong core engagement for deeper, slower thrusts.
9. Wall Lean Grind
Press your partner against the wall, face-to-face or turned away, while you grind or stimulate them with a vibrator. This standing move oozes control and confidence. Use the Burning Sakura for warm, targeted pleasure during grind motions.
10. Tied-Up Partner Tease
Bind your partner’s hands (safely!) and take your time riding, teasing, or edging them. Tease with oral, toys, or your hips—and let them feel the thrill of surrender. Remember: quick-release cuffs, lube-safe toys, and constant check-ins make this hot and safe.
Best Male-Dominant Positions to Take Charge
When it comes to dominance in the bedroom, these male-dominant sex positions deliver maximum control, depth, and intensity. Whether you're asserting yourself physically or using slow, deliberate thrusts to tease and command, each of these moves reinforces a powerful, dominant role—perfect for partners who crave surrender and strong, assertive energy.
1. The Mount (Kneeling Control)
With your partner lying back, kneel between their legs and stay upright—no leaning forward. This posture adds presence and visual dominance while giving you full range of motion. Enhance with: Cock Ring for longer stamina and pulsing vibrations during deep thrusts.
2. Standing Doggy Slam
Have your partner bent over a bed, table, or counter while you take them from behind. Standing gives full thrust control and lets you use your hands for grip, spanks, or hair pulling (with consent).
A favorite for dominant energy mixed with primal passion.
3. Over-the-Edge Pounder
Place your partner at the edge of a surface (bed or sofa) with their hips slightly elevated. Stand and hold their thighs as you thrust deeply and rhythmically. This position enhances control and allows for fast pace without slipping.
Perfect for showcasing size and strength.
4. Missionary with Wrist Control
Simple, but powerful. Lock eyes with your partner while pinning their wrists to the bed. Combine deep eye contact with slow, controlled movement. Emotional dominance meets physical restraint.
5. Ankle Over Shoulder Pin
Lift one or both of your partner’s legs over your shoulders, press forward, and thrust deeply while holding their hips or wrists. This position combines intense penetration with physical restraint. Tip: Support their lower back with a pillow to avoid strain.
6. Chairbend Thrust
Seat your partner facing away on a sturdy chair or ottoman, then enter from behind while they lean forward gripping the seat. Your hands are free for control, direction, or teasing.
Ideal for dominant dirty talk and full-body movement.
7. Spread-Eagle Hold
Lay your partner flat, legs open and restrained (using cuffs or arms). Get on top and thrust while keeping their legs apart. This maximizes visual and physical control.
Use with adjustable cuffs and discuss boundaries beforehand.
8. Over-the-Sink Grip
A raw, spontaneous-feeling position. From behind, bend your partner over a bathroom counter or kitchen sink. Use one hand to hold their hair or throat (with consent), the other for control.
Fast, intense, and erotic—but requires full trust and clear consent.
9. Dominant Side Entry
Lay behind your partner, spoon-style, but pull their top leg back and upward for deep penetration. Whisper commands or dirty talk while controlling the motion with your hips.
Great for psychological dominance and slow power moves.
10. Prone Bone Submission
Have your partner lie flat on their stomach, legs together. Enter from behind while lying over them or staying on your knees. This restrictive angle creates a “held down” feeling and hits deep pleasure zones.
Combine with cock ring stimulation for added edge and climax control.
Gender-Neutral Power Positions
Whether you identify as male, female, non-binary, or fluid, dominance isn’t defined by gender—it’s defined by confidence, communication, and control. These 10 gender-neutral dominant sex positions are perfect for anyone who wants to lead the experience—regardless of anatomy.
1. Standing Straddle Control
Stand while your partner straddles you, legs wrapped around your waist. Pin them against a wall or support their back. You control the thrust, balance, and tempo.
Great for spontaneous dominance in tight spaces—bathroom, hallway, shower.
2. Lap Ride Lock
Sit on a chair or sofa and have your partner mount you—forward or backward. With your feet planted and hands gripping their hips or arms, you control every inch of movement. Tip: Use a remote-controlled vibe like E‑Intense Moose to add teasing surprises during the ride.
3. Tabletop Takeover
Place your partner face-up on a table or counter and enter standing. Hold their thighs up or spread. This gives full penetration access while keeping them completely exposed and vulnerable.
Ideal for G-spot or prostate stimulation with visual domination.
4. The Reverse Grind Clamp
Have your partner sit on your lap, back facing you. Wrap your arms around their torso or hold their wrists behind their back. Dominate with grinding control and whispered commands.
Works great with vibrating butt plugs or remote vibes for multi-sensation play.
5. Flatiron Press
Lay your partner face down, legs together, hips slightly raised. Enter from behind while pressing your body on top of theirs. This delivers deep penetration and full body coverage.
Dominance is felt through weight, rhythm, and control.
6. Doggy Push-Down
Take your partner from behind in a standard doggy position, but press their chest lower for a deeper angle. Use a hand to hold down their back or gently pin their wrists.
Optional: Light bondage or blindfolds increase the power play.
7. Lazy Dom Side Mount
Lie on your side and spoon your partner, but lift their leg for easier access. Control the thrust while using your free hand for hair pulling, spanking, or nipple play.
Great for dominant mental teasing and edging without high physical exertion.
8. Oral Kneel Command
Your partner kneels while you sit or lie back. You use verbal commands and hand placement to guide the pace and pressure of oral sex. The dom’s power comes from presence and instruction. Pro tip: Use a Bullet Vibrator like Burning Sakura on yourself while they watch—then take control.
9. Bridge Dom Hover
You bridge your hips upward from below while your partner rides or grinds on top. Even from below, you drive the movement and intensity—this reverse dom role flips visual expectations while keeping control.
Especially great with strap-ons, dildos, or prostate toys.
10. Thigh Grip Command
Sit cross-legged or kneel upright with your partner straddling one thigh. Use your voice, hand, and controlled movement to guide their grinding.
Combines subtle dominance with intense clitoral or external stimulation—perfect for long, teasing sessions.
11. Bondage Missionary Hold
Your partner lies on their back, wrists bound to the bed (or held firmly by you). You stay on top in missionary, fully in control of movement, rhythm, and stimulation.
Best with cuffs, blindfolds, and a whispered countdown to climax.
12. Spanked Overlap Ride
Your partner lies over your lap face-down. Tease, spank, and stimulate at your pace. It’s a position where you're seated, composed, and fully in charge. Mental edge: Say when they're allowed to cum—or not.
13. Rope Bunny Control
Tie your partner in a seated or kneeling position, legs spread and hands bound. Then use toys (like a warming vibrator or a vibrating cock ring) to stimulate them without penetration—until you say so. Safety first: Use quick-release knots or bondage cuffs.
14. Overstimulation Mount
Ride your partner while using a clitoral or anal toy—on them or yourself. Increase pressure gradually, ignoring their begging or writhing. You decide when to stop (or if you do). Combine with toys like Burning Sakura for dual-point domination.
15. Breath Tease Straddle
While straddling their chest or face, pause just above their mouth or nose—hovering but not touching. Alternate between breath control and stimulation, keeping control of every sensation.
Use extreme care—always discuss limits and have a safe gesture.
16. Standing Face-Fuck Grip
Have your partner kneel while you stand and guide their head or chin with your hands. Establish a slow pace and clear rules. Control comes from rhythm, not force.
Add dirty talk or edging commands for psychological dominance.
17. Immobilized Tease & Denial
Blindfold your partner, tie them spread-eagle, and alternate between stimulation and silence. Touch, stop, whisper, retreat. Control lies in withholding, not giving. Perfect for incorporating remote-control toys like the E‑Intense Moose.
18. Furniture Domination (Stool, Couch, Bedpost)
Use household furniture creatively—bent over a stool for spanking, pinned to a headboard for restraint, or draped across a couch for “use-me” positions.
Strong visual submission + practical angles = top-tier kink control.
19. Forced Orgasm Pin
Hold down your partner with hands or thighs and use a powerful toy until they climax—then go again. The control here is in pushing them past the edge while they beg to stop or keep going. Essential: Agree on limits before starting. Include a safeword.
20. Chore Play Reward/Punishment
Yes—kink can be playful too. Make sex the reward for tasks completed (or the punishment for tasks failed). Combine domination with real-life dynamics, teasing, denial, and surprise sex scenes.
Dominant Positions for Any Gender or Role Swap
Dominance isn’t tied to gender—it’s about mindset, intention, and control. These versatile sex positions empower anyone to take charge, regardless of anatomy or identity. Whether you're switching roles, in a same-sex relationship, or simply exploring new dynamics, these dominating sex positions are adaptable, exciting, and built for confident control.
1. Standing Straddle Control
A partner straddles you, legs wrapped around your waist as you pin them to the wall or support their weight. The standing partner dictates depth and pace—perfect for dominance mixed with intimacy.
2. Lap Ride Lock
Sitting upright on a chair or edge of a bed, your partner rides you while you grip their waist, throat (consensually), or arms. Verbal cues, restrained motion, and deliberate pacing make this a dominant favorite.
3. Tabletop Takeover
Place your partner on their back on a flat surface like a dining table. Keep eye contact while gripping their hips, spreading their legs, and leading each thrust with authority. Add toys or hand restraints for extra control.
4. Reverse Grind Clamp
Have your partner grind against you backward (lap dance-style) while you maintain control through hand placement, commands, and vibration toys. Perfect for slow teasing or orgasm denial.
5. Flatiron Press
Your partner lies flat, hips slightly raised. You press your weight onto them while controlling every thrust. It’s a subtle, intense position ideal for physical restraint without gear.
6. Doggy Push-Down
From behind, push your partner’s chest lower while keeping their hips up. Add verbal direction or spanking for assertive control.
Works with cock rings, dildos, or strap-ons for amplified sensation.
7. Lazy Dom Side Mount
Lie beside your partner, lifting their top leg over yours. Use one hand to control the angle and the other to restrain, guide, or stimulate. Perfect for slow-burning, dominant tension.
8. Oral Kneel Command
Your partner kneels in front of you while you sit or stand. You guide their movements with your hands or verbal instructions, setting the pace and giving or withholding praise.
9. Bridge Dom Hover
You lie beneath but raise your hips in a bridge as your partner rides or grinds above you. Even in a passive position, you dominate by guiding movement, grabbing, or instructing.
10. Thigh Grip Command
Guide your partner to grind on your thigh while you hold them close, control pressure, and whisper instructions. Perfect for clothed domination, power build-up, and teasing control. Pair with bullet vibrators or warm-up play.
10 Kinkiest Dominant Sex Positions to Try Tonight
If you’re ready to go beyond the basics and into bold, electrifying control, these are the kinkiest sex positions to explore tonight. Whether you're into sensory play, restraint, overstimulation, or orgasm control, these dominant positions blend physical intensity with psychological thrill—perfect for partners who trust each other and crave deeper connection through power.
Consent Reminder: Always agree on boundaries, safe words, and aftercare before trying anything from this list. Kink is about safety, sanity, and mutual satisfaction.
1. Bondage Missionary Hold
Have your partner lie flat, wrists tied to the bed or pinned by your hands. Maintain full body control as you thrust, tease, or whisper dirty affirmations. Enhance with: silky wrist cuffs or bed restraint systems.
2. Spanked Overlap Ride
Sit on a chair with your partner bent over your lap. Alternate between spanking, rubbing, and inserting fingers or a plug. You lead everything—tempo, intensity, and rewards.
Pair with praise or punishment language to amplify the effect.
3. Rope Bunny Control
Bind your partner into a kneeling or seated pose using safe rope bondage techniques. Tease with touch, oral, or toys—your control lies in how long they wait and what you give.
Tease them while fully clothed for added psychological tension.
4. Overstimulation Mount
Straddle your partner and use a bullet vibrator or wand on them—continuously—until they beg for release or climax uncontrollably. You decide if and when it ends. Perfect with: Burning Sakura Heating Rabbit for double-point stimulation while you lead.
5. Breath Tease Straddle
Sit gently over your partner’s face or chest, hovering just enough to tease. Let them feel your presence without access—controlling their anticipation and frustration.
Always use non-weighted body positioning and verbal check-ins.
6. Standing Face-Fk Grip**
Have your partner kneel in front of you while you stand, gently guiding their head with your hands. You control pace and depth. Use mirrors for visual reinforcement of your role.
Dirty talk isn’t optional—it’s dominant.
7. Immobilized Tease & Denial
Tie your partner spread-eagle and blindfolded. Alternate between long moments of silence and unexpected stimulation—touch, toys, lube play. Keep them guessing who’s in control (you are).
8. Furniture Domination
Use your space creatively: lean them over a stool for spanking, pin them to a wall, or place them across a desk. Unusual locations heighten vulnerability and arousal.
9. Forced Orgasm Pin
-
Hold your partner down (with hands or thighs) and use a toy continuously until they climax—and keep going. You control their pleasure and their overload.
-
Always check for limits and build up gradually.
10. Task-Based Tease (Reward or Punishment)
Set rules: do X and you’ll be rewarded with sex—fail and you’ll be denied, teased, or used for your dom’s pleasure only. Use costumes, toys, or dirty notes to set the tone.
Tips to Feel More In Control in the Bedroom
You don’t need leather gear, a whip, or years of experience to be a confident dom. Dominance is a mindset—and like any skill, it grows with practice, intention, and self-trust. If you’re new to leading in bed, here are practical tips to help you step into your power and feel more in control during sex.
1. Start with Clear Communication
Confidence begins with clarity. Talk to your partner about what you want to try, what turns you on, and where their boundaries are. Knowing their needs—and having them know yours—sets a safe foundation for exploration.
2. Embrace Your Voice & Body Language
The way you move and speak can signal control instantly. Use a calm, assertive tone. Slow your movements. Make intentional eye contact. Even simple commands like “stay still” or “look at me” can flip the dynamic.
3. Plan a Scene Ahead of Time
You don’t need to improvise everything. Set the mood in advance: dim the lights, prep toys, or lay out restraints. Confidence often comes from being prepared. The more control you have over the setup, the more you'll own the space.
4. Use Toys to Reinforce Control
Vibrators, cock rings, blindfolds, or restraints can support your dominant role without requiring complex techniques. For example, the Burning Sakura Heating Rabbit lets you tease and edge with precise stimulation, while the E‑Intense Moose adds pulse-based control during penetration.
5. Own the Role Without Apology
Feeling “too bossy”? Don’t. Dominance is sexy when it’s consensual and delivered with care. You’re not being selfish—you’re offering your partner the thrill of surrender. Let go of shame, and lean into the energy you’re creating together.
6. Debrief & Adjust
After the experience, ask: “How did that feel for you?” The best doms aren’t cold or rigid—they’re responsive. Every check-in builds trust, refines your skills, and boosts your confidence next time.
Best Toys for Dominant Power Play
The right tools can take your domination game from good to unforgettable. Whether you’re teasing, restraining, overstimulating, or controlling from afar, these toys give you the edge—amplifying power, precision, and psychological control. Below are the best sex toys to enhance your dominant role in the bedroom.
1. Burning Sakura Heating Rabbit
-
Best for: Female doms who want full control from the top
-
This dual-stimulation toy delivers deep G-spot massage and warming clitoral pulses—letting you control your own orgasm intensity while in charge. Ideal for reverse cowgirl or straddling positions.
2. E‑Intense Moose Dual Vibrating Cock Ring
-
Best for: Male doms who want stamina + targeted vibration control
-
This dual-ring design supports firmer erections and delivers powerful vibration to both partners. Wear it during missionary or standing doggy and dictate climax timing like a pro.
3. Adjustable Wrist & Ankle Restraints
-
Best for: Full-body control and submission training
-
Cuffs allow you to bind wrists, ankles, or both for spread-eagle or immobilized tease
-
positions. Look for soft inner lining and adjustable straps.
4. Remote-Controlled Vibrators
Best for: Psychological domination and distance control Whether you’re in the same room or miles apart, app-controlled toys give you the power to buzz, pause, or edge your partner without touching them. Try teasing them in public (discreetly) for confidence-building dom energy.
5. Vibrating Butt Plugs or Prostate Massagers
Best for: Anal dom play and long-term control scenes Insert and leave in place while you dictate their movements, or pair with penetrative play for complete stimulation overload. Choose body-safe silicone and remote options for versatility.
6. Sensation Play Accessories
Feathers, paddles, nipple clamps, and ice packs offer doms extra tools to surprise, stimulate, and dominate. Tease one area while ignoring another. Let them beg for your attention.
Common Mistakes in Dom Play
Taking control in the bedroom can be exhilarating—but when it’s done without care or communication, dominance can quickly veer into discomfort, disconnection, or even harm. Whether you're a first-time dom or exploring new dynamics, avoiding these common mistakes can elevate both your confidence and your partner’s trust.
1. Confusing Aggression With Authority
-
Being dominant doesn’t mean being harsh. Yelling, roughness without consent, or ignoring your partner’s cues isn’t sexy—it’s unsafe. True dominance is measured, responsive, and deeply tuned into your partner’s reactions.
-
Fix: Use steady energy, controlled touch, and confident voice—not brute force.
2. Skipping the Consent Conversation
-
The biggest mistake a dom can make is assuming. Every power play scene must start with mutual agreement on boundaries, safe words, and hard/soft limits.
-
Fix: Discuss before, check in during, and follow up after any dominant act.
3. Neglecting Aftercare
-
Dom play can bring up strong emotional and physical responses, especially after intense restraint, spanking, or orgasm control. Failing to provide aftercare can leave your partner feeling drained or abandoned.
-
Fix: Offer cuddling, water, gentle words, and reassurance—even if you’re the dom.
4. Not Reading the Room (or Their Body)
-
Missing signs of discomfort—like tensing, withdrawal, or quieting down—can ruin trust. Dominance isn’t about pushing past limits; it’s about knowing when to stop.
-
Fix: Observe breathing, muscle tension, and eye contact. When in doubt, pause and ask.
5. Trying Too Much, Too Soon
-
Jumping into complex bondage or advanced kink scenes without practice can overwhelm both you and your partner.
-
Fix: Start small. Master one position or tool at a time, then build up your skill set gradually.
6. Relying Only on Porn-Inspired Moves
-
Many online fantasies show dominance as silent, rough, and emotionless. In reality, real-world dom play requires empathy, communication, and adaptability.
-
Fix: Ditch the script. Co-create experiences that feel good for you and your partner.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Dominant Sex
Open communication is the sexiest foreplay. If you’re craving more control—or eager to surrender—but don’t know how to bring it up, you’re not alone. Many people want to explore dominant sex positions but hesitate due to fear of judgment or rejection.
1. Pick the Right Moment
Don’t bring it up during sex. Choose a calm, relaxed time—maybe after a great date or while cuddling. Mention it casually:
“I’ve been reading about power play in bed lately—would you be open to trying something like that together?”
2. Focus on Curiosity, Not Demands
Frame it as exploration, not expectation. Ask:
“Have you ever thought about what it would feel like for one of us to fully take control?”
This opens the door to shared fantasy-building, not one-sided pressure.
3. Share Specifics & Boundaries
Explain what “dominant” means to you—positions, toys, or tone. Be clear on what excites you and what doesn’t. Ask your partner the same. Use body-safe terms and agree on safewords.
4. Reassure and Reinforce Trust
If your partner feels uncertain, remind them they’re safe, respected, and free to say no. Let them know you’re doing this together, and nothing happens without their consent.
5. Use Shared Resources
Share articles (like this one), videos, or even toy collections as conversation starters. Let your partner explore ideas visually and privately before trying them together.
Frequently Asked Questions: Dominant Sex & Power Play
Is wanting to dominate or submit during sex normal?
Completely. Research shows that power exchange is one of the most common fantasies across all genders. It's a natural, healthy way to explore control, pleasure, and trust.
Do I have to be rough to be dominant?
No. Dominance is about leading, not hurting. You can dominate through confident pacing, dirty talk, posture, or guided touch—no aggression needed.
Can you switch roles in dominant sex?
Absolutely. Many couples enjoy switching, where partners take turns being the dom or sub depending on the mood. Flexibility = freedom.
What if my partner isn’t into dominance?
That’s okay. Everyone has different comfort zones. Start by finding a softer version (like giving verbal directions or trying mild restraint) or discover other fantasies you both share.
Are toys necessary for dominant sex?
Not at all. Your voice, presence, hands, and confidence are already powerful tools. That said, toys like the Burning Sakura or E‑Intense Moose can absolutely elevate the experience.
Share
Read more
I Love Rough Sex: Why We Crave It, How to Do It Right & 10 Safe Rough Sex Ideas to Explo
I love rough sex. If you’ve ever thought this, said it out loud, or searched it in the dead of night you’re far from alone. From deep, primal cravings to playful dominance in bed, rough sex taps...
How to Use a Vibrator: A Calm, Step-by-Step Beginner’s Guide (2025)
If you're curious about vibrators but not sure where to begin, you're not alone. Many people—regardless of age, experience, or relationship status—feel both excited and overwhelmed when exploring...
