12 Dominant Sex Positions To Make You Feel Like A Total Dominatrix

Want to take charge in the bedroom? Dominant sex positions aren't about being scary or aggressive - they're about feeling confident, powerful, and in control of the pleasure. Whether you're naturally bossy or just curious about switching things up, these positions will help you explore your dominant side.

This guide shows you 12 dominant positions that range from easy to advanced, plus tips on how to make each one work for you and your partner.

What Makes a Position "Dominant"?

Simple explanation:

A dominant sex position is one where you (or your partner) takes clear control. This might mean:

• Controlling the speed and rhythm
• Being on top or standing
• Holding your partner in place
• Deciding the angle and depth
• Having your partner in a vulnerable position

Important: Dominance is about confidence and control, not force or aggression. Both partners should enjoy it.

Learn about healthy sexual dynamics and communication.

Before You Start: Important Rules

Talk First, Always

What to discuss:

1. What sounds fun - Which positions interest you both
2. What's off-limits - Things you don't want to try
3. Safe word - A word that means "stop immediately"
4. Check-ins - How to signal if something's uncomfortable
5. Aftercare - Cuddles and talking after

Safe word examples: "Red" for stop, "yellow" for slow down, "green" for keep going.

Start Slow

For beginners:

If You're New	Start With
Never been dominant	Sitting positions (less intimidating)
A bit experienced	Standing or kneeling positions
Very comfortable	Advanced positions with restraints

Rule: You can always add intensity later. Start simple and build up.

Understanding consent basics keeps everyone safe and happy.

Position 1: Sitting Cowgirl (Easy)

Why start here:

This is the easiest dominant position. You're on top, controlling everything, but it's comfortable and not too intense.

How to do it:

1. Your partner lies on their back
2. You straddle them, facing forward
3. You control the speed
4. Move up and down or rock back and forth
5. Use your hands on their chest for balance

Why it feels dominant:

• You're literally on top
• You decide how fast or slow
• You control depth
• Your partner watches you take charge
• You can make eye contact

Tips:

• Lean forward or back to change angles
• Grind in circles for clitoral stimulation
• Go slow and sensual or fast and intense

Position 2: Reverse Cowgirl (Easy)

The turned-around version:

Same idea as sitting cowgirl, but you face away from your partner.

How to do it:

1. Your partner lies on their back
2. You straddle them facing their feet
3. You control the movement
4. Use their legs or bed for support
5. Bounce or grind as you like

Why it feels dominant:

• You're in complete control
• Great view for your partner
• You set the pace
• Very visual experience
• Different angle hits different spots

Pro tip: This works great if your partner wants to add couples-friendly vibration for extra stimulation while you're in charge.

Position 3: Squatting Cowgirl (Medium)

The intense upgrade:

Like sitting cowgirl, but you're squatting instead of kneeling. Way more control, but requires leg strength.

How to do it:

1. Your partner lies down
2. Squat over them (feet flat, not knees)
3. Lower yourself onto them
4. Use your legs to bounce up and down
5. Hold their shoulders for balance

Why it feels dominant:

• Maximum control over depth
• You decide exactly how deep
• Very powerful-feeling position
• Great workout bonus
• Partner is totally at your mercy

Warning: Your legs will get tired. Take breaks or switch positions.

Position 4: Face-Sitting (Medium)

Oral sex with you in charge:

You sit on your partner's face while they give you oral pleasure. Very dominant.

How to do it:

1. Partner lies on their back
2. Straddle their face, facing headboard or feet
3. Lower yourself onto their mouth
4. Use headboard or wall for balance
5. Move your hips as you like

Why it feels dominant:

• You're literally on top of their face
• You control the pressure and movement
• They can't do anything but please you
• Very powerful position
• You decide when you're done

Safety: Don't put all your weight down. Hover enough so they can breathe. Check in regularly.

Position 5: Doggy Style (You In Control) (Easy)

Classic position, dominant twist:

Regular doggy style with you deciding the pace.

How to do it:

1. Get on hands and knees
2. Partner enters from behind
3. BUT you push back to control speed
4. Use your hips to set rhythm
5. Move faster or slower as you want

Why it feels dominant:

• You control the thrusting
• You decide the pace
• Partner follows your lead
• Push back hard for deep penetration
• Pull forward to slow down

Extra dominant: Tell your partner not to move - you do all the work.

Position 6: Standing Doggy (You Behind) (Medium)

Role reversal:

If you're wearing a strap-on or using toys, this lets you be the one standing and in control.

How to do it:

1. Partner bends over (bed, table, counter)
2. You stand behind them
3. Enter with strap-on or use toys on them
4. Hold their hips
5. Control the speed and angle

Why it feels dominant:

• You're the one doing the penetrating
• Partner is bent over and vulnerable
• You control everything
• Can grab their hair (gently!)
• Very powerful feeling

Works great with: A comfortable wearable strap-on setup designed for beginners learning to be dominant.

Position 7: Up Against the Wall (Hard)

Very intense:

You (or your partner) gets pinned against a wall. Requires strength.

How to do it:

If you're the lifter:

1. Pin partner against wall
2. Lift them up (they wrap legs around you)
3. Use wall for support
4. Thrust while holding them up

If you're being lifted:

1. Jump up and wrap legs around partner
2. Hold their shoulders
3. Wall supports your back
4. Let them thrust while holding you

Why it feels dominant:

• Whoever's lifting has all the power
• Very primal and passionate
• Requires trust
• Intense closeness
• Feels very spontaneous

Reality check: This is exhausting. Have a bed nearby to transition to.

Position 8: Modified Missionary (You On Top) (Easy)

Missionary but reversed:

You lie on top of your partner and control the movement.

How to do it:

1. Partner lies on their back
2. You lie on top, between their legs
3. You do the thrusting motion
4. Use your hips to move
5. Control speed and depth

Why it feels dominant:

• You're on top
• You control the rhythm
• Can whisper in their ear
• Hold their hands down
• Very intimate but still dominant

Add intensity: Pin their wrists above their head.

Understanding pleasurable intimacy enhances connection.

Position 9: The Spreader (Hard)

Very exposed position:

Your partner's legs spread wide while you're in control.

How to do it:

1. Partner lies on their back
2. You kneel between their legs
3. Hold their ankles
4. Spread their legs apart wide
5. Enter and control the movement
6. Push their legs back toward their chest

Why it feels dominant:

• They're totally exposed
• You control how wide legs go
• Very vulnerable for them
• You have all the power
• Can watch everything

Be careful: Don't push legs too far back. Check flexibility limits first.

Position 10: The V (Medium)

Athletic and dominant:

Your partner's legs form a V shape in the air while you control everything.

How to do it:

1. Partner lies on their back
2. They lift both legs straight up
3. You kneel in front of them
4. Hold their ankles or calves
5. Enter and thrust
6. Control the angle and speed

Why it feels dominant:

• You hold their legs
• They're in vulnerable position
• You decide the angle
• Very visual for both
• Shows who's in charge

Variation: Cross their ankles for tighter sensation.

Position 11: Hands Behind Back (Hard)

Bondage-lite:

Your partner's hands are held behind their back while you're in control.

How to do it:

1. Partner bends over bed or table
2. Pull their arms behind their back
3. Hold both wrists with one hand
4. Enter from behind
5. Control everything with them "helpless"

Why it feels dominant:

• They can't move their arms
• Totally at your mercy
• Very submissive for them
• You have complete control
• Feels intense for both

Safety: Don't pull arms too hard. Check circulation. Have them tell you if anything hurts.

Advanced: Use soft restraints instead of just holding - but discuss first!

Position 12: Lazy Doggy (Easy)

Dominant but comfortable:

Your partner lies flat on their stomach while you're on top.

How to do it:

1. Partner lies completely flat, face down
2. You lie on top of them
3. Enter from behind
4. Use your body weight
5. Control all movement
6. They stay still

Why it feels dominant:

• Partner is pinned under you
• They can't move much
• You control everything
• Weight creates intensity
• Very primal feeling

Bonus: Can whisper dominant things in their ear, bite their neck, or hold their hands down.

Adding Toys to Dominant Positions

Vibrators for Extra Control

How toys increase dominance:

When you control a toy that's giving your partner pleasure, you have even more power. You decide when they feel good and how much.

Best positions for adding toys:

Sitting positions: Easy to reach and add compact stimulation

Doggy positions: Perfect for reaching around with a toy

Missionary variations: Easy access for clitoral or other stimulation

Standing positions: Hands-free heating options that stay in place

Remote-control advantage: You can adjust intensity without even touching the toy, increasing your control.

Communication Tips

During Sex

How to be dominant with words:

Commanding (not asking):

• "Put your hands here"
• "Don't move"
• "Look at me"
• "Stay still"
• "Slower" or "Faster"

Confident tone matters: Even simple directions sound dominant when said confidently.

After Sex

Important aftercare:

Dominant sex can be intense emotionally. After finishing:

1. Cuddle and reconnect - Physical comfort
2. Check in - "Did you enjoy that?"
3. Reassure - "You did great"
4. Discuss - What worked, what didn't
5. Hydrate - Get water for both of you

Why this matters: Dominant sex involves vulnerability. Aftercare helps both partners feel safe and loved.

Learn about relationship communication and trust.

Safety and Consent

Never Skip These Steps

Before trying anything new:

1. Discuss it when not having sex - Calm conversation
2. Get clear "yes" - Enthusiastic consent
3. Agree on safe word - Everyone knows it
4. Start gentle - Can always add intensity
5. Check in during - "Is this okay?"

Red Flags to Stop

Stop immediately if:

• Partner uses safe word
• Anyone feels pain (not just pressure)
• Someone can't breathe properly
• Numbness or tingling in limbs
• Anyone feels scared or panicked
• Something doesn't feel right

Remember: You can always stop and try again another time.

Frequently Asked Questions

I'm nervous about being dominant. Is that normal?

Completely normal! Most people feel awkward at first. Start with easy positions like sitting cowgirl where you're in control but it's not too intense. Build confidence gradually. Remember, your partner wants you to enjoy yourself - there's no "wrong" way to try this.

What if I accidentally hurt my partner?

Check in regularly with "Does this feel okay?" or "Is this good?" If they seem uncomfortable, slow down or stop. Use your agreed-upon safe word system. Most "accidents" happen when people don't communicate - talking prevents problems.

Does being dominant mean I have to be rough?

Not at all. Dominance is about control and confidence, not roughness. You can be gentle and dominant at the same time. Go as soft or as intense as both of you enjoy. There's no rule that says dominant = rough.

Can we switch who's dominant?

Absolutely! Many couples take turns. One day you're dominant, next time your partner is. This is called "switching" and it's very common. It keeps things interesting and lets both people explore different feelings.

Conclusion

Dominant sex positions put you in control of the pleasure, speed, and intensity - but they're only fun when both partners are excited and comfortable. Start with easier positions like sitting cowgirl or modified missionary, communicate openly throughout, always respect boundaries and safe words, and remember that being dominant is about confidence and control, not aggression. With practice and trust, exploring your dominant side can add exciting new dimensions to your intimate life.

Ready to enhance your dominant experiences? Visit Jissbon to explore tools for adventurous couples designed for comfort, safety, and incredible shared pleasure.