6 Best Positions for First-Time Anal Sex: Beginner's Guide

Curious about trying anal sex but feeling nervous? Position matters a lot for comfort, especially your first time. The right position can make the difference between painful and pleasurable.

This simple guide covers 6 beginner-friendly positions that give you control, reduce discomfort, and make your first anal experience as comfortable as possible.

What You'll Learn

This guide covers:

• Why position matters for first-time anal
• 6 easiest positions for beginners
• How to prepare properly
• Tips for staying comfortable
• What to do if something hurts
• Communication with your partner

Bottom line: The right position gives you control, reduces pain, and makes anal sex much more enjoyable.

Why Position Matters for First-Time Anal

Control = Comfort

The key to comfortable anal:

Position determines:

• How much control you have over depth
• How easily you can stop or adjust
• How relaxed your body can be
• How much you can see/communicate
• Whether you can reach yourself for extra stimulation

Golden rule: The receiving partner should control the pace, depth, and angle—especially the first time.

Learn about safe intimate practices from health experts.

What Makes a Good Beginner Position

Look for these features:

✓ Receiver has control (can move away easily)
✓ Relaxed body position (no tension)
✓ Easy communication (can see/talk to partner)
✓ Good angle (natural, not forced)
✓ Access to genitals (for extra stimulation)
✓ Partner can see what they're doing

Avoid positions where:

• Giver has all the control
• Your body is tense or strained
• You can't move away easily
• Communication is difficult

Essential Preparation (Before Any Position)

Must-Do Steps First

Before trying ANY position:

1. Use LOTS of lube

The anus doesn't self-lubricate. You need:

• Generous amount on penis/toy
• Generous amount on/in anus
• More nearby for reapplication
• Water-based or silicone-based (your choice)

How much: More than you think, then double it.

2. Warm up properly

Never go straight to penetration!

Warm-up steps:

• Relax together (massage, kissing)
• External anal massage (gently rub outside)
• Start with one finger
• Add second finger when comfortable
• Use small butt plug if you have one
• Take 15-30 minutes minimum

Why warming up matters: Sphincter muscles need time to relax. Rushing causes pain.

3. Communicate constantly

Before starting:

• Discuss what you'll do
• Agree on safe word
• Set expectations
• Confirm both want to try

During:

• "How does this feel?"
• "Should I stop or keep going?"
• "More lube?"
• "Slower or faster?"

After:

• "How was that for you?"
• "What felt good/bad?"
• "What would you change?"

Understanding sexual communication prevents problems.

The 6 Best First-Time Anal Positions

Position 1: Receiver on Top (Cowgirl/Cowboy)

How it works:

• Giver: Lies flat on back
• Receiver: Straddles on top, facing partner

Why it's #1 for beginners:

• Full control - You control depth, speed, angle
• Can stop instantly - Just lift up
• Eye contact - Easy communication
• Hands free - Touch yourself or hold partner
• Go at your pace - Partner stays still until you're ready

Step-by-step:

• Partner lies flat on back
• Apply lube to penis/toy and your anus
• Straddle your partner's hips
• Position yourself over penis/toy
• Slowly lower yourself down
• Control how deep it goes
• Move at your own speed
• Lift up if uncomfortable

Pro tips:

• Partner should NOT thrust until you say it's okay
• Lean forward or back to change angle
• Use hands on partner's chest for support
• Take breaks by staying still

Best for: People who need total control and want to see their partner's face.

Position 2: Spooning (Side-by-Side)

How it works:

• Both: Lie on left side
• Receiver: In front, knees bent
• Giver: Behind, aligned with receiver

Why it's great for beginners:

• Most relaxed position - Body naturally open
• Shallow penetration - Angle limits depth
• Easy to stop - Just scoot forward
• Comfortable - Can stay here long time
• Intimate - Close body contact
• Medical standard - Doctors use this position for examinations

Step-by-step:

• Both lie on left side (left side specifically is easier)
• Receiver bends knees toward chest
• Giver moves close behind
• Apply lots of lube
• Giver enters from behind very slowly
• Receiver controls by moving hips

Pro tips:

• Put pillow between knees for comfort
• Receiver can reach down to touch genitals
• Very slow, gentle movements only
• Perfect for relaxing and getting used to sensation

Best for: People who want comfort over intensity, those nervous about pain.

Position 3: Lying Face Down with Pillow

How it works:

• Receiver: Lies flat on stomach with pillow under hips
• Giver: Kneels behind or lies on top

Why it works well:

1. Very relaxed - Receiver just rests
2. Hips elevated - Easy access
3. Can't see - Less intimidating for some
4. Giver has good view - Can see what they're doing
5. Comfortable for long time - No strain

Step-by-step:

• Place firm pillow under receiver's hips
• Receiver lies flat, legs slightly apart
• Apply lube generously
• Giver enters slowly from above/behind
• Receiver stays relaxed and still
• Can bend one knee if more comfortable

Pro tips:

• Use firm pillow (lifts hips at good angle)
• Receiver can reach under to touch genitals
• Giver should not put full weight on receiver
• Very slow movements only

Best for: People who want to relax completely, those who prefer not making eye contact.

Position 4: Modified Doggy (Kneeling with Control)

How it works:

• Receiver: Kneels, sits back on heels, knees wide
• Giver: Kneels behind, stays still
• Receiver: Backs onto penis/toy at own pace

Why it's different from regular doggy:

• Receiver controls - Backs onto partner, not pushed into
• Can move away instantly - Just lean forward
• Good angle - Natural for anal
• Giver stays still - No thrusting until ready

Step-by-step:

• Receiver kneels on bed
• Sits back with butt on heels
• Spreads knees wide
• Leans forward slightly
• Giver kneels behind (same height)
• Giver stays completely still
• Receiver backs onto penis/toy slowly
• Receiver controls all movement

Pro tips:

• Put pillows under receiver's knees for comfort
• Receiver can reach under for clitoral/genital stimulation
• Giver must resist urge to thrust
• Take breaks by sitting all the way back on heels

Best for: People who like doggy-style but want control, those who want good G-spot/prostate angle.

Position 5: Legs Up (Missionary-Style)

How it works:

• Receiver: Lies on back with knees bent toward chest

• Giver: Kneels or stands between receiver's legs

Why it can work for beginners:

• Face-to-face - Easy communication

• Intimate - Can kiss and make eye contact

• Access to genitals - Easy to touch clitoris/penis

• Giver can see - Knows what they're doing

Warning: This gives giver more control, so communication is extra important.

Step-by-step:

1. Place pillow under receiver's hips (important!)

2. Receiver lies back, pulls knees toward chest

3. Can hold behind knees or rest legs on partner's shoulders

4. Apply extra lube

5. Giver enters very slowly

6. Receiver verbally guides: "slower," "stop," "okay"

7. Very gentle movements only

Pro tips:

• Pillow under hips is crucial (changes angle)

• Keep knees bent, not straight

• Receiver touches themselves for extra pleasure

• Stop immediately if painful

• This position can go deeper, so be extra careful

Best for: Couples who want intimacy and eye contact, those comfortable with partner having some control.

Position 6: Standing Bent Over

How it works:

• Receiver: Stands, bends over bed/table/counter

• Giver: Stands behind

Why it can work:

Receiver controls by standing position

Easy to move away - Just stand up straight

Good angle - Gravity helps relaxation

Quick position - Good for spontaneous moments

Caution: Height must be right or this won't work.

Step-by-step:

• Find surface at right height (hips or slightly lower)
• Receiver bends over, hands on surface
• Bend knees slightly (important!)
• Apply lots of lube
• Giver enters from behind slowly
• Receiver can stand more upright if uncomfortable

Pro tips:

• Bend knees to adjust height

• Receiver can reach between legs for stimulation

• Can rest upper body on surface if comfortable

• Make sure height is right before starting

Best for: People who like spontaneous positions, those who enjoy standing during sex.

Quick Position Comparison

What to Do During (All Positions)

Communication is Everything

Receiver should say:

"Slower"

"More lube"

"Stop for a second"

"That feels good"

"Keep going"

"Pull out"

Giver should ask:

"How does this feel?"

"Should I stop or keep going?"

"Do you need more lube?"

"Slower or faster?"

"Is this angle okay?"

Never: Assume silence means "keep going." Always check in!

If Something Hurts

Stop immediately when:

• Sharp pain happens
• Burning sensation occurs
• Receiver asks you to stop
• Receiver tenses up badly
• Any bleeding appears

What to do:

• Stop moving completely
• Don't pull out fast (hurts more)
• Stay still until pain stops
• Slowly withdraw if needed
• Apply more lube
• Try again more slowly OR stop for today

Important: Pain means something is wrong. Never "push through" pain.

Learn about when to seek medical help after anal play.

Making It Feel Better

Add these for more pleasure:

For vulva-owners:

• Touch clitoris during (vibrator works great)
• Stimulate nipples
• Use fingers on vulva
• Have orgasm first (relaxes muscles)

For penis-owners:

• Stroke penis during
• Focus on prostate stimulation
• Touch nipples
• Relax completely

The more aroused you are, the better anal feels!

After Anal Sex (All Positions)

 

Immediate Care

Right after:

Do:

• Go to bathroom if needed
• Clean up gently with warm water
• Check for any bleeding
• Wash hands thoroughly
• Drink water

Don't:

• Immediately have vaginal sex (bacteria risk)

• Use same condom for vaginal after anal

• Ignore pain or bleeding

• Skip cleaning

What's Normal vs Not Normal

Normal after first time:

• Slight fullness feeling for 30 minutes
• Very minor spotting (tiny amount)
• Mild soreness (like after working out)
• Feeling emotional (intimacy is intense)

NOT normal - see doctor:

• Heavy bleeding
• Severe pain that doesn't stop
• Unable to control bowels
• Pain continuing next day
• Fever or feeling unwell

Understanding anal health basics helps you stay safe.

Common First-Time Concerns

"Will it hurt?"

Honest answer: It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it should NOT be painful.

If it hurts:

• You need more lube
• You need more warm-up time
• You need to go slower
• You need better position
• Your body isn't ready yet

With proper preparation: Most people describe first-time anal as strange/intense but not painful.

"What if there's poop?"

Reality check:

Poop is stored higher up. The rectum (where penis/toy goes) is usually empty.

To minimize:

• Have bowel movement 1-2 hours before
• Shower after
• Use small anal douche if desired (optional)
• Accept minor traces are possible

Important: Partners should never shame you if this happens. It's a normal body function.

"What if I don't like it?"

Totally okay!

Not everyone enjoys anal sex. If you try it and don't like it:

• You gave it a fair try
• Your preference is valid
• Don't force yourself to keep trying
• Your partner should respect this

But also: First time often isn't best. Many people need 2-3 tries to really know if they like it.

"How do we decide who's on top/bottom?"

Communication first:

Talk about:

• Who wants to receive
• Who wants to give
• Whether you'll switch
• Comfort levels

No assumptions: Don't assume based on gender, body size, or relationship role.

Essential Supplies Checklist

Before you start, have:

☐ High-quality lube (water or silicone-based)
☐ Condoms (protect against bacteria, easier cleanup)
☐ Towel to lay on
☐ Tissues or baby wipes nearby
☐ Gloves if using fingers (optional but hygienic)
☐ Small butt plug for warm-up (optional)
☐ Vibrator for extra stimulation (optional)
☐ Privacy (locked door, no interruptions)
☐ Time (don't rush this!)

Explore anal play essentials for comfortable experiences.

Tips for Making First Time Better

Before You Start

Hours before:

• Have bowel movement if possible
• Shower and clean external area
• Trim nails short (if using fingers)
• Relax (don't stress about it)
• Eat light (heavy meal makes it uncomfortable)

Right before:

• Create comfortable environment
• Have all supplies ready
• Both use bathroom
• Start with massage or foreplay
• Get really aroused first

During

Go slow checklist:

☐ Used lots of lube
☐ Warmed up with fingers
☐ Receiver is relaxed
☐ Both are aroused
☐ Entering very slowly
☐ Checking in verbally
☐ Stopping if painful

Remember: There's NO rush. Taking 30 minutes is totally normal.

After

Good aftercare:

• Clean up together
• Hold each other
• Talk about experience
• Drink water
• Rest if tired
• Check in emotionally

Discuss:

• What felt good
• What hurt or was uncomfortable
• What to do differently next time
• Whether you want to try again

Browse intimate care products for comfort and safety.

Frequently Asked Questions

Which position is actually easiest for first-time anal?

Receiver on top (cowgirl/cowboy) gives you most control, but spooning is the most physically relaxed. If you're very nervous, try spooning. If you want control, try on top. Both are excellent beginner positions—choose based on your personality and comfort level.

Do we have to use these exact positions?

No! These are starting points. You can modify any position for comfort. The key principles are: receiver has control, body is relaxed, good communication, and proper lube. If you find a position that works better for you, use it.

How much lube do we actually need?

Way more than you think. Start with generous amount, then reapply every few minutes. For first time, you'll probably use 2-3 tablespoons total. It's impossible to use too much lube for anal. When in doubt, add more.

Can we switch positions during our first time?

Yes, but be very careful when changing. Pull out slowly, reapply lube, then enter again in new position. However, many first-timers prefer sticking with one position for the whole session to avoid complications. You can experiment with multiple positions in future sessions.

What if we try everything and it still hurts?

Stop for today. You can try again another time with more preparation, or accept that anal may not be for you right now. Never force it. Some people's bodies need more time to adjust, some prefer not doing it at all. Both are completely normal and okay.

Conclusion

The best first-time anal position is one where the receiver has full control, the body is relaxed, and communication flows easily. For most beginners, that means receiver on top or spooning position. 

Remember that position is just one factor—proper preparation with lube, warming up gradually, constant communication, and going slowly matter just as much. If first time doesn't go perfectly, that's completely normal. Many people need several tries to find what works for their body.

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